The Berg Circus

Wait...how old is she?

2012-01-24T21:13:00.000-08:00

This one reads. We didn't teach her. She's just SO stubborn that when she saw her brother learning to read, she couldn't stand it. She watched him practice and learned everything she could. He's still ahead of her, but not for long if she has anything to say about it.

Festival of the Nativity

2011-12-05T15:27:00.000-08:00

The advent calendar.

This year I made an advent calendar with the little box for each day. I've never had one of these before and I wasn't sure how to squeeze a treat for 4 or 5 kids into each little box. I decided that sometimes it will be an activity instead of a treat and yesterday was the first one. We headed to the Festival of the Nativity for the first time. It's one of those things that I've always meant to go to, but I miss it every year. It was great, although my camera promptly died so we're left with lovely cell phone pics...

Oh Christmas Tree

2011-12-03T16:16:00.001-08:00

I thought I'd go ahead and post pictures of the tree. The kids decorated and I managed to only yell about ornament placement a wee bit. I figure it's going to be messy anyway, so why stress about it. Also, I got some pictures of miss Avery enjoying the window seat.

Oh Christmas Tree

2011-12-03T16:15:00.000-08:00

I thought it'd go ahead and post pictures of the tree. The kids decorated and I managed to only yell about ornament placement a wee bit. I figure it's going to be messy anyway, so why stress about it. Also, I got some pictures of miss Avery enjoying the window seat.

Somebody misses her sissy

2011-12-02T10:41:00.000-08:00

Let the decorating begin!

2011-11-27T16:00:00.000-08:00

Kaila led the kids in making snowflakes for the windows.

I made the advent calendar. I made the trees out of paper cones and scrapbook paper.

I made the glass block a few years ago and Kaila wrote the poem in the frame that

I decorated to match the trees.

I also took the tin star that was formerly in Grant's cowboy room

and covered it with scrapbook paper

to make it more festive.

The mirror is a Goodwill find covered with

a coat of red spray paint for the time being.

I'm super proud of my frugal pillows. I used our existing throw pillows,

bought a few cheap-o cloth napkins and used an old fleece blanket in a Christmasy print.

I made all of those except for the santa and the gingerbread dude.

FOR ALMOST NO MONEY!!!

After the holidays I'll just take those covers

back off and store them for next year.

Santa on my fantastic Goodwill Outlet vintage suitcases.

Grant's got moves

2011-09-13T23:44:00.001-07:00

My little dude is actually turning into a smooth little operator. Within our immediate family, that is. He has made huge steps in looking at people and responding to questions from other humans, but in the house he's got us all figured out. Like yesterday. He hopped off the bus and walked into to see Avery playing the Wii. He very sweetly and sincerely said "Avery, I've missed you all day. Can I have a hug?" The kid could have asked me for the keys to the car right then and I would have given them right over. Tonight he left a yogurt wrapper on the couch and just as Chris was ready to jump on him about it he says "I'm SO sorry Dad. Let me get that right now. I'll grab a paper towel while I'm in the kitchen to wipe any off of the couch. I'm SO sorry." And he looks you right in the eye with the most amazing look of sincerity that I've ever seen and follows through speedy quick on fixing his error. It's just way too precious. I don't know how we are ever suppose to discipline around that kind of adorable. I guess we don't really need to, right? He's seeing the problem and fixing it and apologizing. Isn't that what we're trying to teach them? I should probably be more concerned about the way that he asks sweetly for something and if I say yes he'll gently put him hand on my leg and give it little pat, look right up into my eyes, and say "Thank you SO much, Mom. You are the best mom in the whole world and I love you. I'm so glad you're my mommy." It seems like a little much when I've only said that he can have some pretzels or watch another cartoon. Better work on avoiding the over-selling.

This is what we've always wanted...right? RIGHT?!

2011-09-09T18:40:00.000-07:00

http://bergcircus.blogspot.com/2008/09/flashback-friday.html

Here's a linky to a blog post in which I posted pictures of Mackenzie's first day of Kindergarten. Now, as I attempt to post about DROPPING HER OFF AT FRICKIN COLLEGE, I start to cry all over again. Mostly, the last few weeks have been good. Exciting. Beneficial to my habit of vicarious living. Pride inducing. Jealousy of that fantastic time of life inducing. But on occasion I fully lose it. Occasions like right this minute. I'm gonna be okay though. And I'm going to start posting about our trip to drop her off at college. I can do this. Even though I feel JUST like the lady that wrote this column : http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2010/08/22/bittersweet_song_of_september/?fb_ref=art&fb_source=home_oneline And even though sometimes it feels like they're all going to be gone in about 5 minutes and I'm going to miss them forever. Even though we still accidentally call her to come down to dinner sometimes. And even though my family will never be the same and my children will never ALL live under my roof again. Even with the missing and sadness, it's still all greatly outweighed by the extreme joy that has come with watching her succeed and excel and grow into an amazing adult. I look forward to many more moments of pride and excitement as she keeps taking these big steps. Even as I watch the rest of my kids following much to quickly in her footsteps and I start crying all over again.

Grant thoughts

2011-08-29T23:46:00.001-07:00

Grant: Is it the dad's job to ask the mom to get married? Or does the mom ask the dad?

Me: Well, dad asked me to marry him, if that's what you're asking.

Grant: But...at some point you do have the choice to say yes or no?

Me: Right. I could say yes or no.

Grant: And you said yes...because he was skinny then.

Celebrate every success

2011-05-02T19:22:00.000-07:00

My dear son came to me SO PROUD today and said that he wanted to show me something he'd been working on. I felt a bit of trepidation when he directed me to the bathroom, but since he's never shown any interest in sharing bowel movement accomplishments, I was pretty sure it wasn't excrement related. As it turned out, it could have been so much worse.

No punishment was administered. He worked really hard at making this bubble mountain and who was I to take that glory away from him?

The gutting of the house

2011-05-02T12:44:00.000-07:00

We know that our time in this house is limited, but that's all we know at this point. Actually, we do know what we've got several months left here...okay, that's really all. The overwhelming challenge of packing up this place that has housed 7 pack rats is seriously freaking me out, SO in a preemptive strike type action I've decided to first purge and organize as much as I can. Hopefully this will help.
First step has been my office/craft room/playroom/dump. Here's the first reveal. Lookin' good!

I grabbed a broken old cabinet and used the base for the ribbon hanger. Neato, huh? I decorated an old box of Costco greeting cards to hold craft paper and I LOVE it. The FAITH banner is from a church activity. I'm not loving it there, so it might come down. It's a little cluttery I'm thinkin.

Have I cleaned under my desk you ask? You can see the floor, but that's as far as it's gotten.

I totally made this necklace. Really, I did. Mackenzie has a similiar one that I LOVE and I copied.

Save the last dance....

2011-05-01T16:03:00.000-07:00

I know that these are totally out of order and a big mess, but I couldn't wait to post the ones that we have. I can't wait to get more from the other moms. These two just looked so adorable together, and I'm still SO happy that she went with one of her great friends and a very fun kid. I really can't get over how cute they were. Except for the fact that they look like siblings (that's a little freaky)...other than that, a wonderful Senior Prom to wrap up her amazing 4 years in High School. Not to mention being on the Prom Court...that was SO EXCITING. What a great year!!!

The never ending craft

2011-04-22T14:22:00.000-07:00

This journal was requested by a friend. It's for her boyfriend and he's a BIG Scooby Doo fan, so I said that I would attempt something in that general theme. It was so much harder for me than I expected. First of all, I'm not that good at requests. If I'm whipping up some notebooks or any other crap for myself, my kids, or as a surprise then I'm golden. But the pressure of somebody wanting to pay me for my work makes me CRAZY. I spend way more time worrying that it's going to disappoint them than actually working on it. Plus, Scooby Doo? REALLY? A crafty journal for a grown man? REALLY? Alrighty, I aim to please, but I'm seriously doubting that he's going to squeal with joy when he opens that puppy up. I feel seriously embarrassed just thinking about that moment.

Stellar Parenting episode #...ummm...who even knows? A lot.

2011-04-15T15:55:00.000-07:00

It's a band trip weekend which means a teenage girl being out of town with lots of other teenage girls and...gasp....BOYS. This used to stress me out and I'd lecture for hours about the dangers of boys and roofies and alcohol and date rape and raging parties, but after 4 years of absolutely nothing happening on these trips I've grown bored by lack of drama and outrage that I am being robbed of as a parent. The most scandalous thing that has happened thus far has been 268 pictures of a stuffed sheep doing various things. Not anything naughty, just things like eating at Old Town Buffet or being tucked in to the hotel bed. Both are things that could lead to illness if it were an actual human sheep, but it's not, so really? That's all I get???

I kid. You know I love it. Even the "crazy" sheep pictures make me laugh and bring back great memories of doing very silly things that were just plain fun. BUT....I do hold out hopes for something just a tiny bit edgy. Something like, for instance, perhaps, kissing a random boy from a different school. Or even just exchanging cell phone numbers. Nothing bad, but a little bit giggle worthy, you know? My hopes may not be in vain, as you'll see from the texts me and my child exchanged today while she's on her long bus trip to whatever band thing it is that she's going to...

child: MOM! you know who has facial hair now??? "Jason". (brief sidenote...names are changed, but this "jason" kid is way cute. I've begged her to hit on him a million times....in a supportive parent way, not in a child molester way) I may need to make out with him. I looove facial hair.

parent: if/when this happens I WANT PICTURES

kid: of course! I'll even put it in a scrapbook!

parent:Total cutey pie. You really should check him off the make-out list before you graduate. Just as friends, of course.

kid: (more sidenotary, this text is a total joke that I get because I understand that she's not interested in really making out, so keep that in mind as you proceed with me teasing about her messing around) French kissing is definitely a friendly thing right?

parent: True friends always use tongues.

kid: *gag* wellll I'll consider it. I am super attracted to him and that might be an option

parent: I bet he's a fantastic maker-outer

kid: Definitely. I'll let you know

Do I even need to admit how proud I am of her right now, or does it just go without saying? And, again, if I had any concerns about her going too far I wouldn't be teasing her. Although, he IS the drummer, so I don't know.

Fondant. Because it was requested, not because I think I'm super awesome. But I am. But that's not why I'm posting them.

2011-03-18T17:08:00.000-07:00

Morgan's Baptism

2011-02-05T11:54:00.000-08:00

My sweet baby Morgan got baptized today. She's such a great kid. A little bit of a worrier, but very sweet, thoughtful, and sensitive. I love that little spinner and I extra love that Chris was able to perform that ordinance for her. It was his first baptism and it was beautiful to see.

Fresh from the waters of baptism. Clean and pure as the day she was born!

Beautiful, radiant girl.

Re: Walmart Story

2010-12-04T12:05:00.000-08:00

Somehow Seth did not know the Walmart story. I don't know how anybody who has ever met me or my sisters does not know about this experience, since it is so freely shared with, well, THE WHOLE WORLD. But, for the record, here is the pot where I did my best to explain the "incident".

http://bergcircus.blogspot.com/2008/02/tagged.html

A "Walmart" story for ya. AND IT WASN'T ME!!!

2010-12-02T14:58:00.000-08:00

My friend Seth makes me laugh. Really hard. And today he popped up on Facebook chat and made my whole day with this lovely little tale that's NOT ABOUT ME! He knows how to perfectly weave the details in a way that has me doubled over in laughter. Details that most people might not find amusing. Details that some people would find offensive.  But, again, IT ISN'T ABOUT ME! Any story about somebody else pooping their pants is a story that makes me smile.

So, here's the whole chat between us. I hope that in the future, when I have an "unfortunate incident", that we can now call it a "Seth at EFY" moment, instead of a "walmart moment". Do you hear me, sisters?

Seth: dude! i went into the bathroom at work and had this flashback memory

and i immediately wanted to tell you!

Amy: ohhh kaaay

Seth: dont sound so happy to hear from me!

Amy: i'm scared! it's a bathroom memory!

Seth: yeah, i wish it took place in the bathroom

the time

at EFY

when i pooped my pants

Amy:NO 

YOU

DID

NOT

That's MY job

Seth: i did. it was the worst

on the LAST day of EFY

the morning we were leaving

I get up out of my dorm bed. my roommate for the week was currently in the shower
i had some gas. time to get rid of it
bad choice

the next thing i know...

a whole gravy train of chili like beef stew going down my legs

Amy: TMI TMI TMI TMI

no, it's not. go on.

Seth: sorry. i love telling the details

and im in my boxers. so there is NOTHING stopping this

its going down

 im just staring straight at the wall.

"NOo.. NOOOO!!!"

i start freaking out. scrambling!

what do i do!????

my roommate will be back any minute!

the room is stinking

my heart is racing

there is poop all over my legs

Amy: what did you do?!?!

i grab my favorite pair of pj pants

and start wiping it off

scooping it up

i throw the pj pants in the trash in the room

BURY it under the pizza boxes

Amy: grossgrossgrossgross

there is still more everywhere on the floor. i grab my only white towel for the wekk

start sopping more up

the towel gets used up

but its still all over

the key is beginning to unlock the door!

my roommate is coming in!

i run and push the door back!

he says" I need my towel, i forgot it!" he was in a robe

i see his towel

and stuff it under the gap in the door

"here! take it!"

he goes away

zoom i find more clothing to wipe it up with

now its this nasty brown, wet stain on the floor

my roommate comes in. i put my suitcase over the stain

i had opened the windows

HAHAHA

he DIDNT smell nothing!

Amy: did you know this roommate?

Seth: no

i met him that week

i take his towel to go shower off this crap all over me

i covered my legs so no one could see the brown trails still visible even after wiping it off with the pjs

i took the shower. dumped BOTH THE POOPY PJS AND POOPY TOWEL into the laundry shoot!

left the spot! got the hell outta there!

and made it back home to washington for dinner

and what was it? my mom's homemade beef stew

THE END

Is it just me? Is that right up there with our Walmart experience? I declare that it IS. I love it. People should soil themselves more often. It makes for a good story.

Again with the genetics

2010-11-29T08:59:00.000-08:00

My son had an All About Me poster due today. We've had it for weeks. In a shocking turn of events I just remembered it last night and we were still working on it this morning, but that's not what this is about.

This is about his answers to the All About Me questions.

Not all of them. Just two of them. His acceptable answers were:

Favorite food: Chocolate chips
Favorite book: Anything about Cheetahs
Place I'd like to go: Hawaii
Thing I like to do: baseball

The two that caused me to make my "where have I failed as a mother" face were:

What I want to be when I grow up: A newspaper deliverer. So that I can always live at home with my mom and never have to move out.

AND

Something you might not know about me: I really love my mom. I love to sleep with her.

I didn't let him answer that last one like that. I think I made him wonder what he had said wrong, though. The way that I buried my face in my hands and shook my head back and forth while moaning might have given him that impression. Hopefully I fixed it when I forced a sweet smile and said that he was a little angel, but how about we just tell them that you have a dog named Max?

Oh, my boy, I know I'm full of pure awesomeness, but that doesn't mean that you can stay with me forever. Someday, you'll have to find you're own super hot amazing woman to marry. Somebody not named Mom.

Mackenzie does not support this post

2010-11-14T20:01:00.000-08:00

Mackenzie just pulled a frozen dinner thing out of the freezer because she's "starving" and there's "no food in this house". Then she scrunched up her eyes and wrinkled up her nose and asked us how long this thing has been in the freezer and whether or not she was going to get sick. Of course not.

Chris: Wait, unless there's chicken in it. There IS chicken in it? Hmmmm....well, you probably won't DIE or anything, but you might get a tad sick. Just sick enough that you'll need to wipe with an ice cube.

Kenzie: Why an ice cube?

Chris: Because your diarrhea will burn so bad that the touch of toilet paper will make you scream cry.

Kenzie: Oh. Well, I've never had diarrhea that bad.

Chris: Have you never eaten at the fair?!

Ooooh, that made me laugh so hard. And I was all, I'M BLOGGING THAT and Kenzie was like, I do NOT support you blogging that. Good thing I'm the boss.

Hereditary Addictions

2010-11-09T22:00:00.000-08:00

And another generation of our family becomes addicted to books. Hopefully their spouses won't hate it as much as mine does. It shouldn't be a problem as long as they don't let it interfere with cleaning, cooking, laundry, bathing, and everything else except for breathing and whatever book they're currently living in. Just look at the joy on their faces! I might have to read the book they were reading, if it's THAT good.

When Chris gets home and wonders what exactly I did all day...

2010-09-28T14:36:00.000-07:00

He might look back at Black Friday a few years ago and regret getting me my Cricut. Here are just a few of the things it made for me today...

It didn't make this. I did. But isn't it SO CUTE?! IKR?! (I know right?...I just made that up. I'm so starting something with that one)

After I decorated that composition book, Kenzie asked me to decorate her binder. That's it so far. My Cricut made those letters for me.

Then I made these painfully cute little trick-or-treaters. I'm going to use them together on something bigger, but for now they're occupying my entry table with all the other autumnal cuteness.

And then it cut me out some black vinyl bats and such to decorate my hangy-downy light. Those are pretend spider webs, btw, I got rid of the real ones and replaced them with fake for the photo op.

And, THAT, my friends, is what I have accomplished today. I do have the handy excuse that I'm ill...just in case he points out that the house is worse than when he left this morning instead of better. For some reason we just can not seem to agree that "cuter" IS better, he always thinks "cleaner" is better. Whatevs.

Ooooh, I think I love this one!

2010-09-26T20:06:00.000-07:00

I'm not done crafting yet. I feel a few more projects brewing. Like this "Treats" sign.I apologize for the poor quality of this photo, but just go to her blog to see her real post. I love this and I think I know what I'll be doing tomorrow! I just can't help myself when it's all objects that I have around the house. Lets look at it as therapy for my Target withdrawals. If I can't spend money, then I might as well make cute stuff, right?

How many crafts have YOU done this week?

2010-09-24T11:14:00.000-07:00

Betcha NOT as many as I have! Here's the rundown of my autumn extravaganza of crafting...

My Fall wreath that nobody loves except for me. I love it mostly because it's made using 5 items from the Dollar Tree. If you cost Five Dollars I'll love you no matter how shabby you look.

My FAVORITE thing. My candy corn topiary. Again, almost free. A handful of candy corn from the bulk section at Winco, some eyeballs from the same section, a dowel that I already had, paint that I had, an old Christmas ornament as the ball that the candies are hot glued to, a canning jar that I already had. You get the picture. I love love love it. Can't wait to try a Christmas candy one next month!

OK, no, this is my favorite. I already had these blocks from an old, boring, Easter block set. I just spray painted them black, distressed the edges, bought 3 pages of Halloween paper for 41cents each, and started mod-podging. The kids even pitched in on this one!

I made good use of the left over paper scraps and made these flowers. I used more dowels (painted white and wrapped in orange ribbon), some bedazzles, and a bucket I had in my cupboard. I love that it was free and took about 15 minutes!

My for real favorite thing is all of the old Halloween pictures that I pulled out to display with these new crafties. I love Halloween pictures even more than matchey-matchey Christmas jammy pictures.

Now go make some crafties and post them!!! Maybe you'll inspire me with even more ideas. I'm sure Chris would LOVE to see more craft crap around the house.

I should also mention...

2010-09-05T14:07:00.000-07:00

That last post, the one with the first day of school pictures? Look at Kai. Notice anything missing?!?! No more glasses! She has contacts now and is ready to play volleyball without her glasses flying off and getting stepped on. Pretty hot, isn't she? Pretty scary, isn't it? At least we can hold out on makeup for a little longer, I don't even want to think about adding any more cuteness factor to that child. Again, it's just not fair to those other kids at school. And she can't date yet, so that's just torturing all those hormonal middle school boys pointlessly. Let's go get her so new, ugly, glasses and some braces with head gear. That's more the look that I have in mind until she's...let's see....Um, 25. Think she'll go for it?

First Day of School for those other kids...

2010-09-05T13:56:00.000-07:00

Kiki's LAST first day of school!!! Poor mom isn't taking this very well. Kiki, on the other hand is ready to make the most of her senior year and then move on to bigger and better things.

Kai's LAST first day of middle school!!! AND she made the 8th grade varsity volleyball team! We're so excited for her.

Mo's last first day of Primary school! Next year she's on to the Intermediate school, so this is her year as the big kid on campus. She's been great looking after little brother and I'm glad she's there for him this year!

Little dude goes to school

2010-09-02T18:39:00.000-07:00

You were right. Boys get home from school and have no interest in talking about their day. Having been through Mackenzie, Kaila and most of all, Morgan, it was the strangest thing I've ever seen. It was like he had just run a half marathon and I was asking him what all he saw and did along his route. The exhaustion that he expressed at the thought of answering my queries was very real. Poor little guy could only say Mom, can we just go lay down for a while? I need a big drink of water and a rest. Later he added that he wishes he were still 3 years old so he could stay home because its just TOO long of a day before school gets unstarted.

I don't know how anybody could have less than a perfect day looking as good as he did, though. If I looked that good...well...I don't really know what I'd do. Walk around letting people bask in the glory of my cuteness? That might be inappropriate in Kindergarten. Makes all the other kids feel insecure about their own mediocrity.

By the time his dad got home he was ready to talk. He talked about his day. Lunch was his favorite thing about school. He liked recess, but No, I didn't play with any humans on the playground. Freakyyyy...

Now he doesn't have school again until next Wednesday because we're not on the half day schedule, we're on the Monday/Thursday/every other Wednesday schedule. I look forward to seeing when he'll make friends with some of those humans. That will be pretty cool. That will make me feel more happy about him leaving me all day.

Meet my son, the robot

2010-08-25T14:36:00.000-07:00

I don't take anything related to Autism, it's causes, or it's prevention lightly, so when I say that my son has a touch of Aspergers it's not meant as a joke about that disorder. It's just the most accurate way to describe my son's really truly odd quirks. It's also a reflection on my Google Doctorate Degree in disease diagnosis and treatment. I'm VERY familiar with the symptoms of Autism. Just ask my sisters. And I have followed up my in depth internet studies with reading an obsessive amount of books on the subject. I'm just FULL of fascinating ways to point out what may be symptoms in my children. Chris loves this.

When little dude was about 2, I made an appointment with a hearing specialist to get his ears checked. I thought that he could hear ok, but I needed to make sure because of his lack of natural responses. You know how some kids won't answer you, even though you can tell that they heard you? Well, it was different with him. It was as if he didn't hear you at all. I mean, NO reaction. Not a flinch or a twitch or anything. Mostly with strangers. It's like he goes inside himself the minute that anybody who doesn't live in this house gets within 15 feet of him. He looks down, or straight ahead, and makes no acknowledgement whatsoever that he has been addressed. Lately, he has started reacting, but just enough to bury his head in my side and whimper a little. I have figured something out about that, though. I've noticed that if the person who wants to talk to him ignores him and goes about doing something that he can just observe, that eventually he opens his invisibility cloak, peaks out, and starts to interact. It's like he's a cat. If you want nothing to do with him, there's a chance he'll want something to do with you. Actually, that just sounds like he's a guy, doesn't it? Heaven forbid you pursue him. Best to act like you don't even know he exists. Huh...hadn't that about it that way.Totally normal, just very advanced for his age. He should be fun when he starts dating.

And you guys know that he still refers to people as humans, right? ODD. Things like, Mom, what is that human doing? or Look, I found the missing head to the human from my Lego set. WEIRD.

And when Chris took them to see Karate Kid II and the Mr. Miyagi dude was crying about his family dying in a fiery wreck caused by his own drunk driving, little dude started getting choked up. But the tears confused him. He was all Dad, why is this movie making my eyes cry?

He did that again on our way to get his shots for Kindergarten, except he was laughing in a weird, frantic kind of way, and Chris asked him why he was laughing and he said I don't know why I'm laughing...when my body is telling me to cry! He didn't cry, though. Not through the whole thing. Just smiled and shrugged that it wasn't a big deal.

I really don't think it's any kind of disorder though. None except for that pesky DNA that he seems to have gotten, undiluted by Grandma Kelley's outrageous side, straight from both of his grandfathers. I definitely wouldn't call either one of them shy, but they're also not the social butterfly type that Chris and our daughters tend to be. We sometimes refer to our father's personalities as something that you might see on Jurassic Park. Like they're the scientists and we are the dinosaurs that they are observing. Curious, sometimes amusing, but not really logical or anything that they want to spend days on end with. So, when Becky calls my son a robot, it's fitting, since we always called Dad a martian. Simply here to observe the specimens, the humans, and occasionally enjoy their company, although enjoy might be a stronger word than they would use.

Hello Juneau part 2

2010-08-18T14:40:00.000-07:00

Back to why we went to Juneau! Grandma's wishes were that she be cremated and her ashes be spread where Grandpa's were. Some of their friends made arrangements to take their boat out, down the channel, past Taku Glacier, to the beautiful spot that she had requested. Here is a shot of the place where we stopped to spread her ashes. I don't think it captures the beauty of the area. Or how green the water is. It was breathtaking.

We all toasted her with her favorite drink, vodka. Ok, not all of us. Us non-drinkers and the children (hopefully non-drinkers as well) used Coke, but I'm sure she'd approve.

Dusty spread the ashes

I loved the shape that they made as they drifted. I think it looks like a sting ray.

We had flowers to spread, as well as pictures from Stacy and her family and almonds with m&ms, something she always had available for visitors.

This is Romer and Lorraine (that spelling might be totally wrong). She took care of lots of things for Grandma, including being her pet taxi when Grandma's guinea pig needed to go to the vet.

The boys and the friends enjoyed lots of great stories about her life.

That's a familiar sight, Chris and Dusty laughing. I bet she loved seeing that.

Dave telling a great story. Something about Grandma being a drug mule? Good stuff.

I loved being out there in that boat, enjoying the scenery that Grandma had spent her whole life around and remembering her like that. It was a great way to say goodbye to a great lady!

A is for Awkward

2010-08-11T15:34:00.000-07:00

Things that my nephew has said to me so far this week. Things that I should be highly praised for not reacting to. It has taken all of my limited self control and I think it has contributed to my migraine today. I'm not used to holding back so much. Maybe you've noticed.

An example:

Me:Has anybody seen the power cord for the laptop?
Him:What does it look like?
Me:It's a big black thing.
Him:Oh, that. It's in my pants.

There are more. One involving asking me to pet his meat. I'll be sure to keep you posted.

Hello Juneau. Goodbye Grandma Part one: Chopper ride

2010-08-10T22:41:00.000-07:00

Thank you Sis!

At Temsco Helicopters. If you're ever in Juneau, I highly recommend them for their helicopter tours.

Beautiful blue glacier water.

Looking down on the Juneau airport. All three gates of it.

Aunt Stacy took this picture and now it hangs in Tempco's lobby!

The brothers and their step-sister, Stacy.

Mendenhall Glacier.

Craptastic

2010-06-02T10:20:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I lost my mind. Not because of anything huge. With huge stuff, I'm okay. My coping mechanism kicks on and I do what needs to be done. Yesterday, though, yesterday just generally sucked. All the way around. If something could go wrong it did.

And Chris was in bed sick.

And I had just gotten over being sick.

And I was out of Thyroid Meds. And out of refills.

And it was the final tball game of the year. In the rain. And I was snack mom.

And kids needed to be picked up here and dropped off there and then get to that place across town...etc...

My favorite part of the day o' craptasticness? Let me tell you what it was. It was pretty awesome.

I was up to my elbows in sugar cookie dough. Dough that required me running to the store with toddlers to buy flour, because this recipe calls for 6 cups of flour and I had...oh...none. The dough was coming along well. I didn't even have kids "helping" me. They were outside playing in the rain. The rain that hasn't stopped since October. At all. Not helping the mood, Mr. Weatherman.

While I was rolling out dough, they came tramping in. Covered with mud, but, hey, what's a little mud going to hurt? Is it going to mess up my house? Hahaha. No. It's fine. But, wait. That doesn't smell like mud. That smells like somebody managed to find that magical spot in the forest that Max goes to to poop (thank you again, Maxy Waxy, for not pooping in our grass. you are a magical beast of love and you are my favorite, but don't tell the children. oh, wait, they know). Investigation revealed that Grant had a definite poop smear up the leg of his dressy-casual Adidas swishy pants that match his beautiful blue eyes just right.

Cleaning up dog poop is so much less appealing when you're in the middle of making adorable baseball sugar cookies for the final T-Ball game of the season. Cookies that OTHER PEOPLE'S CHILDREN will be eating. Dog poop didn't seem like something that should be added to the 6 cups of flour.

Ewwwww...

Now I started wondering how he managed to get dog poop on his pants, but not on his shoes. That's weird. Not on his shoes, but ALL IN HIS UNDER WEAR. Nice. That's not even dog poop. That's your own poop. Where, son? Where did you take a dump? Oh, don't worry, mom, it's somewhere that nobody will ever ever find it. Really? That's great news, son. Now, how about we NEVER DO THAT AGAIN.

Looking back on it, I should have known right away that it wasn't from the dog. Why? Because I only wrinkled up my nose and cringed when I smelled it. Dog poop, on the other hand, dog poop will make me immediately projectile vomit every time. The slightest hint of that smell and I'm a puking machine. I find that it adds such a nice scent sensation for those present to be able to enjoy, not only the dog feces odor, but my vomit as well. Did I mention that this was a huge factor in us getting rid of Sadie Dog so quickly? The fact that she pooped outside of our bedroom door every morning and then I opened the door, smelled it, and threw up all over the house. Eventually, I learned to hold my shirt up and throw up IN MY SHIRT to save Chris from cleaning up both.

On that happy note, y'all have a great day. Mine is bound to be better than yesterday. I have my pills refilled, no games, no carpools, no cookies. All is well.

I could have a blog dedicated solely to the Pierces

2010-05-28T20:40:00.000-07:00

I had ANOTHER child get their finger stuck beyond belief in a hole smaller than their phalanges. This time it was Grant. The hole was in the lid of a sippy cup.

We tried ice.

We tried butter.

We tried soap.

We tried vegetable oil.

We listened to Oak Tree scream-cry because her brother was crying. She was screaming so loud that Chris told her to take it outside. Her crying was drowning out her brother's and it was just too much.

Finally, Pierce came to our rescue with his bolt cutters and released the finger. Honestly, I don't know what we'd do without them. Yes, I do, we'd be at Urgent Care sheepishly asking them if they carry hack saws.

In case she was too fast for ya

2010-05-28T19:18:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures of Kai at her race...

Deep Speed

2010-05-25T20:28:00.000-07:00

Kaila was on the track team this year. Yahoo! I've been begging the kids to run track since Kenzie was old enough and this is the first year that it happened. She did great. She did so well, in fact, that she and her relay team qualified for invitationals last week. Here's a little movie of her quickness in that race.

Kenzie's prom "narrative"...with a few comments from me thrown in for funs

2010-05-20T22:42:00.000-07:00

Well let's start from the top! Prom announcements started coming out, oh a month and a half before the event and I had my hopes I'd get asked *by hopes she means that she prayed her fool head off every night for hours, begging that somebody would ask her to prom. That's what she means by hope*. When it got to two weeks before I was pretty positive I wouldn't be going with anyone *and by positive she means scream-crying that nobody likes her*. I don't have any single guy friends and boys at our school are too dumb to see how cool I am so I said I wasn't goin' solo and I'd just stay home.*ok, that's all true. they are dumb.*

Well I got asked! I have a lot of classes with the kid and I like him fairly well but I don't really know him all that much. *BTW, he asked in a super cute way. Him and some guy friends came into class and sang to her to ask her. And she scream-texted me about it immediately. And I scream-texted back. Chris is so sad that he was at work and missed all the excitement and screaming*

So after two weeks of a serious lack of communication (I was ready to track him down and choke the life out of him. I NEED to know what's going on at all times!) it was finally the day of! *Dear Kenzie's prom date: You have no idea what you put me through. She was a nightmare. Work on your communication skills or your future wife will kill you. The end.*

He doesn't have his six months up so he couldn't pick me up and he had to meet my parents so his mom dropped him off at my place and I drove him. He was so embarrassed. *Chris lived out his life long dream. He dragged the boy into the other room and questioned him mercilessly. Poor kid.*

Well we all went and took pictures at a friends house where I accidentally locked my keys in my car. Now I was so embarrassed. I had to call my mom to unlock my car. Coulda died. *crumbles under pressure*

Then we all carpooled to Portland (7 couples in all) to go to dinner at Three Degrees on the waterfront. Really weird food. Macaroni and cheese with crushed goldfish on the top? I don't even know. It was pretty good though. So after we ordered he and I and two other couples took a walk on the boardwalk. We walked and talked along the river and it was so cute. We ended up all sitting on a bench shivering and laughing. *Pssshh...talking and laughing? Suuuure that's all you guys did. I'm kidding. It is.*

As we walked back the other two couples were holding hands and I felt kind of awkward like we should be too or something*I bet he totally wanted to hold her hand. Or he was walking behind her checking out her butt.*. But it was still cute, he was so sweet. So then after dinner we went to the dance and partied it up! It was at the Arista Ballroom and it was so gorgeous! My feet have blisters all over them. And yes we slow danced and it was kind of romantic *She SO tried to make out with him. You know she did. She's a total skank. I'm so proud*. So then we went home. That's that! Prom was incredible! *She's not really a skank. She did take do alot of dirty dancing, though. Kaila and I taught her how. We like it.*

"Official" prom photo

2010-05-20T13:20:00.001-07:00

The Future of Politics

2010-05-07T21:20:00.000-07:00

Please take a minute to visit the blog that we have started as part of

Kaila's campaign for

Vice President of her middle school.

Kaila4VP

We haven't really started to post yet, but Chris has some great ideas. This is going to be so fun!

Another gymnast is born

2010-05-05T08:00:00.001-07:00

AshAsh and VeeVee start a gymnastics class yesterday. I didn't remember to take my camera, but I got a few shots of her in her cute outfit. It's all about the cute outfit at this age, isn't it?

The Kracken goes to Prom or Chris's worst nightmare or "Our" Prom

2010-04-25T14:17:00.000-07:00

What a busy 2 weeks it's been! Kiki didn't think she was going to be asked to the prom. The situation was so dire that I threatened to write "Please stop staying up all night crying about not being asked to prom." on her Facebook wall. Not because she WAS crying, just because I thought it would be fun...and it could have prompted an invite, but she wouldn't let me.

Some highlights...

We got an amazing deal on a beautiful dress
Our sweet neighbor Kathy went to great lengths to alter it
On Thursday night, after she had finished the dress, the iron melted a hole in part of it.
Jenny, Leanna, Kenzie, and I scream cried all the way to the mall that night to look for a new dress.
After trying on several dresses we all agreed that the first one was totally fixable and still the most beautiful.
Kathy went to even greater lengths to find an applique that matched the beading and attached it to the dress, covering the hole and adding even more pretty to it.
Kenzie looked stunning in it

I googled boutonnieres and realized I could make one myself. Jenny has experience with this, so she assured me that it's a piece of cake and walked me through it. Here it is...
Kenzie was a weeee bit of a wreck on Saturday. She does know herself well enough to know that she would most likely become demonic, so she spent the night out at Jenny's house Friday to get her mind off of things. That was nice. Thank you.

Here's Kenzie letting me do her nails and toes. She's sound asleep.

Hair almost done... The process of picking the hairstyle went something like this...

I trust your judgement, Mom, just do what you think.

Except not that.

Oh, not that either.

After my doing my first choice of a low side pony, then my second choice of a curly up-do, she decided on a half up-do that looked lovely with her thick curls.

In the background you can see the laptop. On one screen we had a picture of the inspiration hair picture and on the other screen we had the menu from the restaraunt they were going to. We didn't want Freak-Show to embarrass the family and order something messy or *shudder* a salad. That kid gets dressing everywhere. I'm mostly kidding, just wanting to see what she thinks of me saying that on the blog. It's totally true. Her and salad are so gross together.

All dressed and ready with at least 5 minutes to go...

Stress face!

Show us how you really feel, Kiki.

See that phone in her hands? She never put it down. Not once. The whole day. Throughout all of hair and makeup, her friends and her texted back and forth

OMGosh, are you, like, SO nervous?

What are you doing RIGHT NOW?

What about NOW?

Now?

Eeeeek, I'm SO excited!!!!!! :):):):):):)

I know!!!

At this point I tried to get a picture with her. Then her phone buzzed and she ran off to answer it and I never did get a picture of us together. So sad.

I had never met her date before. He's a friend from school and all I had seen was a little profile pic of a boy with Mutton chops. I was scared, but it turned out that he was adorable. And nice. Look at that dimple. So cute. Before they left, Chris took him inside to question him while his mom, Mackenzie, and I waited out on the front porch. Chris had big plans to make the inquisition super scary and embarrassing, but I think he chickened out.

Instead of humiliating Mackenzie that way, it was Morgan that did that for us.

We were on the porch with him and his mom when Morgan says,

"So, am I going to be an Aunt now?!"

Killed me.

But it REALLY killed Kenzie.

That got all of the little kids banished to the house, where they watched the rest of the festivities through the window.

They had a great time and didn't get home too terribly late. The formal pictures will arrive next week and I'll post those, too. I'm so grateful that all of our prayers were answered. I pleaded for help finding a dress that we could afford and that couldn't have been more true. Kathy saved us so much money and stress. Eric responded immediately to an emergency need for money to help us cover the expenses. Everything worked out so well and we are so blessed.

And Kenzie is super hot, isn't she?

Finally!

2010-04-22T11:33:00.000-07:00

At LEAST once a year we get gorgeous family pictures done. Who am I kidding? It's way more often. But because I love them so much, I freeze under the pressure of how to display them adequately and they sit in a file on the computer for their whole lives.

Knowing that I have this problem, and that I hate it, I finally managed to commit this lonely Ikea frame and some random Wall Words to showing off our kids' pictures from, oh, OCTOBER. Even though it took me awhile, I still love it so much.

Are you tired of bows yet?

2010-04-19T11:25:00.000-07:00

So is Chris. Too bad for all of you.

Especially since Beck tipped me off to a big ribbon sale at Michael's last week. Whoo-eee, that's a lot of ribbon on my lap...and in that box...and laying all over my house.

Here is Morgan in this morning's offering.

My goodness, I love her even more when her hair is all cute and looks like we attempted to brush and style it. Normally it looks stringy and unbrushed within 10 minutes of fixing it.

VERY IMPORTANT UPDATE

2010-04-17T21:03:00.000-07:00

Not really. I just wanted to show off the bows I made for Kaila and her friends for their volleyball tournament thing.

It was a Friday night thing from 6-midnight. They were the bumblebees, so we made them black and yellow bows. They used puff paint to make their own t-shirts. The were adorable and won the spirit award.

Chris accused me of making him look hateful in my post about my bows obsession.

Then he said he hates them with all his heart and wishes I would stop making them forever.

Then I asked him which of my hobbies he's ever really supported or even not hated. Hmmmm....But, no, he's not hateful.

He's a great husband and I can easily ignore his complaining. I'm good at ignoring him.

Texting with my oldest

2010-04-16T12:53:00.000-07:00

Can you PLEASE pick up your sister and her friends at the middle school at 4:30?

I have auditions!

Can you get out early :) There are 7 kids and you have the most room.

ARGH! FINE, but you owe me BIG!

Really? I owe you? Do you want me to text you a picture of my cesarean scar? I will, you know I will.

I guess that was a no.

Rock on, 1st Graders

2010-04-15T21:02:00.000-07:00

Creepy Creeper Boy looking up the girl's skirts. That's quite a smile, Perv Junior.

Morgan and her BFF...

Nice bows, huh?

Morgan and her sweet teacher...

There aren't many things cuter than little kids school concerts.

Avery's latest fashion statement

2010-04-15T11:09:00.001-07:00

This "hat" is Avery's favorite thing lately. She wakes up and puts it on. Wears it as much as she can get away with. Admires herself in the filthy mirror. It's hilarious.

You underestimate my obsessing abilities

2010-04-14T09:37:00.000-07:00

Bet you thought I was over the crafty-craft phase, didn't ya? Nope. I'm not.

This weeks obsession has been hair bows. See, what happened was this, I had bought a bunch of ribbon to make the super-cutey-pie binkey clips for baby Lawson. Suddenly it dawned on me that I could use all that extra ribbon for hair bows, if only I knew how to make hair bows.

I love Google. And sometimes I cheat on Google with Youtube. This was one of those times. Because, you see, I'm a hands on learner. And if I can't have hands on, then I at least need to SEE it being done. On video. Not step by step pictures. Those pictures mean nothing to me.

I love this craft because I can set with the man and make these while we watch tv. That way he doesn't start whining (no, for reals, like a baby) and I get to multi-task.

He's happy that I sit with him, but he's not happy with the bows. He thinks they're ridiculous.

Am I surprised? No.

He is never impressed with any crafty thing that I do. Even if is the cutest thing ever in history.

Even if it makes his little girls even more cuter than they already are.

Even if I make the bow the size of the child's whole head and it involves ten different complimentary ribbons and weighs so much that it gives her a neck ache.

Even then, he's not impressed, so it's a good thing I can at least sit with him while I do it.

Here's my attempt at a picture with Superturd and his sister, Plankton. Prec, right? *apparently Prec is short for precious and miss Keek uses it for the sole purpose of annoying me. I like to pass it on to you*

I had this brilliant idea to put her in front of the mirror so you could see both angles. I didn't even notice the state of that mirror until just now, when I downloaded one million pictures of them in front of it. I'm so ashamed.This is my first one. MoJo didn't know of my obsession until yesterday morning, when she came down to this little number laid out with an entire pink/brown ensemble for her to wear to school.

Not only do I not normally lay her clothes out, I don't even normally put her clothes away, so she gets up in the morning and digs through the clean clothes to find an outfit.

She's loving this bow craze for this reason, but I hope she doesn't get used to it. This too shall pass.

Today's ensemble is a little number that I bought at the beginning of the school year and it's never been worn. Not even once. You can't see the bedazzling all over the front of the white tank, because of all the grime on the mirror, but trust me, it's total glittercrotchie cuteness. Her bows today are a black and white zebra stripe with a black and white polka dot accent. So sad that it took me making bows to get her to wear this cute outfit, but at least she finally did.And, here's a few more to get her through the rest of the school week. Notice that I even learned how to curl ribbon in the oven? I had no idea that was even possible. I thought people just bought it curly like that. Amazing.

Stay tuned, I'm not sure that I have this one out of my system yet.

I try to keep it classy

2010-04-12T15:54:00.001-07:00

Let's see if I can do this post and remain on the PG side of the line. Right on the edge of the line, but still not quite crossing it.

A conversation between Chris and KiKi:

Chris said something about Max and Max not being hunted...

WHAT did you say?

I said hunt. Why, what did you think I said.

Phew! I could have sworn you said a different word.

What word?

I'M NOT GOING TO SAY THAT WORD! But it sounds like hunt.

Amy, what word does she think I said? I'm not okay with her even knowing the word that I think she's thinking WHAT IS SHE THINKING!!!

Whatever! I've heard you say that word lots of times.

Okay, we need to be more specific, because I would THROW UP if I said the word you're thinking. What does it start with?

An H.

Okaaay. Hunt starts with an H, too, though.

Yeah, but it doesn't end with an M and a P.

Then we both held each other a cried with relief that she was horrified at repeating the H-U-M-P word. Thank you, Kiki. Thank you.

Grant's first EVER at bat. I love me some tball.

2010-04-12T11:56:00.000-07:00

Morganism

2010-04-12T10:57:00.000-07:00

Mom, these cake balls are SO good! They took my taste buddies on a whole new trip to a nice hotel!

Amy is GREAT! She gave us chocolate CAKE!

2010-04-11T14:10:00.000-07:00

That was meant to be a Bill Cosby imitation. Shut it.

The cake wasn't chocolate. It was half vanilla and half red velvet. Jenny posted a lovely assortment of photos of the cake making process and the finished product on her blog HERE. Thanks Jenny!

I'm just gonna let you check out her post and I'll share one of the photos, too.

That's a RATTLE on top. Not a dumbell or balls or whatever else you dumbies guessed. Maybe the handle part should have been longer and the balls smaller, but it was a very last minute stroke of co-sister genious/tiredness/inspiration and since it was made out of giant cake-ball cake it was probably the greatest tasting think every in the history of ever. So there.

PS...for McGirls weekend, we're doing a fondant lesson for anyone who wants to participate. That will be squeezed in between hottubbing, river floating, and general debauchery.

Longest day ever

2010-04-10T11:29:00.000-07:00

I left my house at 8am yesterday and got back at 11pm. The whole day was spent at Jenny's, working on a baby shower cake for her sister in law. It turned out super cute, but I didn't take any pictures of it and she is holding her pictures of it hostage. The ransom is the pictures of our trip to the zoo. It's a smart move on her part, because I never get around to emailing pictures to people.

In an effort to aquire pictures explaining why I wasn't home for 14 hours, I am now posting pictures of the zoo....

Dude. My ovaries.

2010-04-08T14:28:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to Heather!

2010-04-07T22:01:00.000-07:00

We have the world's best neighbors/friends/Chris's 2nd family. Their's is the house that Chris hits for a second dinner if he isn't satisfied at our house. They take very very good care of our family and Chris swears that if polygamy is ever legalized he's gonna figure out a way to have them be his other family.

Their daughter's birthday was today and she looooves helicopters so I did my best to make a helicopter birthday cake for her. She's good stuff, that one. She got excited about that helicopter, but not nearly as excited as Chris got watching her get excited. He just loves Heather and hasn't stopped talking about it since we got home. He also gave her a battery operated dart gun that he told her to use on her dad. She did and Chris and her laughed and laughed. We all did. What a good time...and a GREAT dinner. It's good to have a 2nd family.

Why comments rock

2010-04-06T12:32:00.000-07:00

I woke up in a panic this morning, realizing that I had blogged after midnight and horrified at what I wrote. I came so close to deleting it, but I did figure that it was about as close as I get to coming right out and saying " I love you, Dad." so I left it there anyways. Thanks for not being horrified and for your lovely comments. I'm way less embarrassed now.

Top Ten Reasons Why Dad's Cancer Sucks...other than the obvious fact that Dad has cancer

2010-04-06T00:17:00.001-07:00

1. Easter should always be at Mom and Dad's house. Having it here worked out fine, but it's not the same.

2. I'm really really homesick and since we are the Berg-Machine-of-All-Illness-All-The-Time it wouldn't be right for me to go spreading our germs around over there. Gotta get Dad healthy, not give his body one (or seven) more things to fight.

3. My dad has been sick enough already. I wish, for his sake, that he could just feel great.

4. Ok, I'm gonna say it. Mom. Mom dealing with Dad being sick is rough. She's got a whole lot on her plate right now and Morgan gets her emotional strength from her, if you know what I mean. I think Jenny might strangle her before this is over, and nobody wants to see that happen.

That's how far I got before I started thinking about the Top Ten Bright Sides To This Crap

1. If he HAS to have cancer, at least it's a good one. A great prognosis is very comforting.

2. Dad could have died during that last huge illness that I can't spell or pronounce. He didn't. I am so grateful for that. I know we all are.

3. Baby-Brother is there to help and it sounds like he's really stepping up taking care of things. That is wonderful.

4. He's been doing decent with his treatments. Not great, but it sounds like he's not completely miserable.

5. We have plenty of friends who have already lost one or both of their parents. I think it's only right that I live to be 90 something and my parents live that whole time too and they should be healthy and lively that whole time, but it's probably not realistic, so I'm just acknowledging how lucky we are that our parents are alive and it looks like they'll stick around for awhile.

6. If I can't go home for awhile, at least it's not summer time yet. That would suck way worse. No barbecues. No corn feed. No Dad bringing Mom a rose and her getting all giggly and me throwing up because it's MY PARENTS. No slumber parties and sneaking out and 7-11 and Big Gulps.

7. Grandma is still here. That's such a relief. I'm glad she's there and hope that all continues to work for them.

8. The whole "appreciate the time we have" stuff. You know what I mean.

9. That they got to go on their big vacation before his official diagnosis and chemo and all that. I wish he had felt 100% that whole time, but I'm still glad they got to do that and I look forward to them going again.

10. We are so blessed to have all of our family still here, still together, and mostly still close by. It's a huge blessing that we don't have to wait all year to see each other or travel great distances. Missing visiting my folks makes me sad, but I see the bigger picture, that I still have them there and will see them before too long.

That's all I've got. I feel better now. Jenny, stop crying, I see you and if you don't stop I'm going make fun of your red nose.

Easter was pretty good, in spite of the lame location

2010-04-05T21:32:00.000-07:00

I've given up on getting all of Easter on one post. Here are some of the egg dying pics. Aunt Leanna pretty much did the whole thing while I worked on the cake. Maybe Jenny was helping too. I have no idea, I was in my own world.

I love Avery's face in this one. It's just soooo Avery. As Leanna's kids like to say "Show me your Avery face!" and then they scowl. I love that.

For My Mom

2010-04-05T21:16:00.001-07:00

You know you want to see it.

He's such a good tipper

2010-04-05T07:28:00.000-07:00

As payment for last night's haircut, Chris let me shave my name in his belly hair while I had the clippers out. It looks fantastic. I know, I know, you want to see a picture...I'll see what I can do.

Email Forwards

2010-03-30T11:06:00.000-07:00

Every day I get forwarded emails from my aunt and uncle. I read all of them, agree with 99.9% of them, and forward many of them. But every once in a while there is one so good that I have to post it. Here is one of those....

With time, women gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies.

So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.

Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, Good Grief, look how smart I am!

Before the day is over...Happy 5th Birthday, Grant!

2010-03-28T23:00:00.001-07:00

Happy Birthday to my little Grant man. I love you! I can't believe you're five already. The last few months you have been working on your manners. It's super cute. You will run to find me and tell me that Morgan just kept annoying me and I ignored her, mom, instead of getting mad! Isn't that a good job? It IS a good job. So are your super enthusiastic thank yous. You're a very grateful little dude and generally very happy.

We haven't had a "party" or a "cake" yet, because Kai wasn't home, but we did have sundays tonight and you were VERY excited about that.

Just didn't want the whole day to pass without acknowledging your big day.I love you little dude!

Why I Love My Blog

2010-03-28T22:21:00.000-07:00

Just had a great time looking back at Kai's last few birthday posts Here and here. It's so super cute to look at these same girls and realize what little babies they were and how much they've grown up. Thanks, blog, for saving these memories for me!

a few more from the party...

2010-03-27T21:30:00.000-07:00

Loved these signs all over the house!Very proud of my Studio 13 sign I ran upstairs and made as people were arriving. Thank you Cricut machine! The cake...

And a few pictures of the other daughters...

Too sexy for my comfort level.

My MoMo...

I was flipping through all of these pictures after Jenny left. She took a bunch in a row of Morgan. I'm clicking..Morgan...clicking...Morgan...clicking....more Morgan. And then BAM! This one pops up. Scared the garbage out of me! Yikes, kid! I swear she's cute in person!

Hahahaha!!!! I laugh until I cry every time I look at it. And then I just cry.

America's Next Top 13 year old

2010-03-27T12:39:00.000-07:00

In typical Amy Planning Mode, Kaila and I threw together her birthday party pretty last minute. Her original plan was "Nerd Night", but I wasn't quite sure what we were going to do with that. It evolved into a spa party and from there into a makeover party. Then -cue the choir of angels- Jenny agreed to come play with us. And so it was born...America's Next Top Model party of the year!

The girls arrived at various times, so we warmed up with a little Apples to Apples while we waited.

Then we dug into the cake. Maybe my best one yet. I wasn't sure about it, but the girls have all booked me for their birthday cakes, so I guess it wasn't so bad.

Then it was time for the makeovers!!!! More fun for mom and aunt or for the girls? Probably for us. It was extra much fun because they're so young and willing to trust us. Silly girls.

Here's Kai's mug-shot/before picture.

The girlies getting ready... Big sister helping out...
Mom teasing the heck of the hair... Workin' it....

Kai and Rei waiting for their spin on the catwalk...

The whole gang. I'm not posting anymore pictures of the attendees because I feel creepy posting a bunch of pics of other people's kids, but I had to throw this one on...

And here's a whole bunch more. Have I mentioned that I'm a Sepia whore? It's true. I can't get enough of sepia, and Kai just looks so go in it. I went back and added some color ones to this post because I realized I hadn't and I felt kinda stupid. Hope you like em! It was an amazing party. And the girls each got an 8x10 glossy of themselves to take home.

Friday Flashback

2010-03-19T13:18:00.000-07:00

Today's Friday Flashback comes to you in the form of a guilt trip.

Dear Leanna, I want you to look back at your blog two years ago and think how happy you are to have captured those memories forever. Don't let another day slip away that Emery will look back at and wonder why you didn't love her as much as the other two. Why you never blogged about her big moments or adorable happenings. Don't you even care about her feelings? Please start blogging to save your baby's self esteem. But, really, to give me stuff to read. The end.

Look at those little babies!!! They grow up so fast. Capture the memories and share them with us. BTW...I've blogged more times today than you have this month.

Poor Em.

Keeping the Sabbath Day Holy. Does that include craft related sales?

2010-03-19T11:02:00.000-07:00

Just got my email ad for a big Michaels sale. It's 4 Hour's Only! Sunday, March 21st 4-8PM!!!

Lame.

Then I noticed below where it says "Except in Utah, where it will be on Saturday March 20th". That's awesome. Do they know their market or what?

I wonder if I could get special exception sale prices on Saturday if I show them my temple recommend. I should look into that. Otherwise, it's just not fair. Not fair AND they're missing out on lots of money. They should change their policy. I see it as a win-win.

Love it

2010-03-17T21:28:00.001-07:00

Jenny used the word Glittercrotchie in casual conversation today. Fantastic.

When will she learn her lesson? (hopefully NEVER)

2010-03-17T18:45:00.001-07:00

Jenny let me have my niece for a few hours again today. Suckerrrrr.

No injuries today, just some good ol' fashion mud wrestling (but said as wrassling. didn't know how to spell that). In the creek. In the only clothes she brought. Man, those two little turds had a blast playing in the creek and Jenny, always the trooper, just laughed and shook her head and asked her if she had fun. We threw them in the tub, loaned her some clothes, and all was well. All except her shoes, which still run brown every time I put them under the faucet. The lining in those super cute shoes may never really be clean again. Good times, good times.

Morganism

2010-03-17T14:07:00.001-07:00

"It's not real, Mom, it's just FakeBelieve."

This deal saves me in more ways than one

2010-03-17T09:07:00.000-07:00

Being a little, oh, hit and miss, at blogging this last year sucks now that I have nothing to print for last year's scrapbook. The blog makes all that so much easier for me. Luckily, I found a link to a website for a free photobook that syncs up to Facebook. So, I was able to log in, choose which pictures (including captions or not) I wanted to include. I didn't have to download any software, either. I usually spend days and days on a digital scrapbook, even when it's straight off of the blog. This book took me no time. None. It was super easy and I can't wait to see the book.

I just went to Pixable.com, ordered the 8x5.5 softsided book, and entered the code FREEPIX at checkout. I only paid the 2.99 shipping and handling. Really fantastic process AND cost.

I'll let you know what I think of it when in comes. In the mean time, you guys should hurry and use this code while it lasts. Even if the book is cheesy, it's still 3 bucks, ya know?

Top Ten Battles Royale

2010-03-16T23:52:00.000-07:00

In no particular order, due to lack of time:

1. It's 11:05PM and I start crying and announce that it's because Chris doesn't love Mackenzie. I do this several nights in a row and our first marital rule is established. The "Amy isn't allowed to talk after 11pm" rule. It still stands.

2. Chris got drunk at MY company Christmas party at MY bosses house and spent the entire time hitting on MY bosses wife. Classyyyy. Then spent the next day denying that he was drunk and that he hit on her. This was pretty much a routine for awhile.

3. I'm SURE I've blogged this one before, but it's one of my all time favs. Chris's friend, Brian, had a girlfriend. His girlfriend was asian. His girlfriend was a semi-retired ~~stripper~~"dancer". His girlfriend was also a hairdresser out of their home. She was Chris's hairdresser. Then, one day, we stopped by Brian's work to say hello. Brian asked me if Chris had mentioned "the show" he had gotten during his haircut, when she showed him the recent surgical enhancements she had gotten done. Brian saw my face, realized right away that Chris had NOT told me, said Oops, and we drove off. I never said a word. Chris never said a word. The next day we went to Costco and bought a set of clippers and I started cutting his hair. You know it's a good fight when no words are needed.

4. Um, do I spill ALL my secrets on here? Cuz here's another repeat goody. I was post-partum and my in-laws were here to meet the baby. I wasn't doing great "emotionally". Chris got all freaky weird about his mom being here and me not being happy and thought she was going to take it personally. She and John went to Red Robin to get dinner for us one night and after they handed me my Teriyaki Chicken Burger, Chris whispered to me that I needed to smile more. I threw the burger at him, cursed at him, and ran upstairs crying. It was an ugly night.

5. I'm going to have to wrap this up with number 5, or I'm going to be in the middle of number 6, if you know what I mean...

Our greatest fight of all time, you guessed it, SEASIDE BATTLE ROYALE. I can't recall the details well enough to do it justice, but I'll try. We had just gotten parked to walk around Seaside when one of our kids announced that she had to go potty. This would be an announcement made every 15 minutes if not nipped in the bud, so I answered, as always "You can wait, you just went", which would have been fine, but Chris wouldn't have that and rushed her into the nearest fast food place to pee. So annoying even now. Especially because that made me the bad guy and him the hero, something both worked on since then. From there, the rest of us started walking, letting him know that we'd meet on the main drag. We waited and waited and couldn't find them. He walked around and around and couldn't find us. We were both primed and ready to go, but not in a sexy way, in a fighting way. We started yelling at each other like those people we used to call 911 on when we lived in the rental house. It was a weekend and it was crowded and everybody gathered around, just like in Junior High during a fight, and people started placing bets on who would win and chanting "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT" and somebody squirted gatorade in my mouth and toweled my brow (I think it was Jeff). After Chris fell from my wicked upper-cut I stormed off to the car. I was ready to go home and leave him there with the kids. Jeff wouldn't let Leanna go with me or I totally would have. I'm still mad. Everytime I have to stop at a public bathroom for him I want to kick him in the tenders.

Other than that, we're doing pretty good!

My Latest Addiction

2010-03-16T13:12:00.000-07:00

Don't EVEN try to perform another intervention. Y'all know that it doesn't work and that I'll just get bored and move along on my own anyways. AND this is a good addiction, which reminds me, you guys gave me so much crap about blogging too much, and now I go back and read those posts that were sometimes 5 or more each day, and I love being able to recall what my family was up to, so BITE ME, I'm totally going there again. 5 a day. Yep. Gonna do it.

Soooo....

Craft Blogs. Can't get enough right now. Obsessed. Probably more than I was with Facebook. It's true. My favorite is Nannygoat, and she shares lots of links as well, so I just branch out from there.

Here's my new must-do project:

Card table playhouse!

There are tons of other blogs with the same thing, but different details. So fun. So cheap. Hopefully so easy.

Now prepare yourselves to see lots of pictures of the crafts I'm copying. Oooh, Jenny, will you post a picture of the binky clips? Jenny is the first gift recipient of my obsession, but I'm sure that all of you will get something that you'll feel obligated to pretend to use and love. You're welcome in advance.

How to make me crazy

2010-03-15T18:25:00.000-07:00

I need a pair of plain black flip-flops (I wish they were still just thongs) for a crafty-craft and this is all I can find in aaallll the shoes we have... Two left feet, one right foot covered in huge rhinestones, and one left foot Nike one that isn't plain enough anyway. Seriously?

How to make me ovulate

2010-03-15T14:53:00.000-07:00

Hey, Grant, do you know who's the BEST?

Who Mom? Said with that little grin that says that he knows that I'm going to say he's the best.

YOU are, buddy!

Nooo, Mom. JESUS is the best!

Watch out, Chris, my ovaries just kicked into overdrive.

Overdrive also happens to be a word Grant is using lately. Must be from a cartoon, but we'll be driving along and he'll ask me if I've "kicked it into overdrive" yet. Little dude must really want a brother with all the cute he's been pulling on me lately.

Grant Quote

2010-03-14T15:02:00.000-07:00

Grant brought home this toy from Wendy's recently....

It's the grandma from Hoodwinked and she jumps rope when you wind her up. I didn't know why this toy was so exciting for him until he explained to me that it was...

Translation "My very own GG action figure!" I swear it was one of the cutest things I've ever heard.

I see his point

2010-03-13T20:43:00.000-08:00

Here is a picture of my hair. Not natural, mind you (super teased for the Bon Jovi concert)...

But I'm starting to think I should have about 14 more kids and start a reality show. You should go ahead and click on the "hair" label at the bottom of the post. I was cracking myself up reading all the crap I put my hair through, feel free to crack up at me, with me.

Birth Control

2010-03-13T19:37:00.000-08:00

We learned this week that our best abstinence enforcer would be my hair in it's natural state.

I didn't realize...neither of realized...that Chris had not seen my actual, for real, nothing in it, no hair dryer, hair-fro in all of the 10 years we've been married. He thought he knew what it looks like naturally, but he didn't. Not really. Technically, he still doesn't, because none of us know what it would look like if I grew out my color. Not only does it get dark, it also gets coarse and greasy, so even worse than it already is.

Friday was the day that I tested the real strength of his love for me. I got out of the shower. I ran a brush through my hair. I didn't put any product in it. I didn't touch my blow-dryer, my straightener, or my curling iron. I started cleaning the carpets.

He came home, looked at me, flinched in pain, and a shudder ran through his entire body.

He said that he had no idea HOW I got my hair to look like that, but to please FOR THE SAKE OF OUR MARRIAGE fix it right now.

It was that bad.

He compared it to the Duggar mom on 17 Kids and Counting, before her makeover, except way worse. See, it doesn't really curl, per say, at least not all over. There's a whole lot of frizz, especially on top, and a whole lot of what resembles straight pieces of straw sticking out of my head.

I'm thinking he'll never tease me about packing too many hair products when we go on vacation.

Originally written 1/25/2010

Grant Quote

2010-03-13T19:23:00.000-08:00

While fighting with Daddy and being sent to his room...

Oh, so THAT'S the way it's gonna be???

Avery Quote

2010-03-13T19:22:00.000-08:00

Mommy, you're making a present for Ashlynn, my best friend? Oh, Mom, I'm so proud of you.

Her Own Biggest Fan...it runs in the family

2010-03-10T18:50:00.000-08:00

Sunday was the first Sunday of the month which means Fast & Testimony Meeting at church (open-mic day, as we like to call it...or Lying and Crying, as some friends call it). Mo is at that age when she really really really wants to get up and share her testimony with the congregation. That's fine. She doesn't scare me. She's generally not going to say anything embarrassing. She spends most of the hour wringing her hands, laughing her nervous laugh and rocking back and forth, all while giving herself a quiet peptalk I'm going up there...I can do this...after this speaker...ok after the next speaker...or the one after...I think I can, I think I can.

She did a great job this week. Short, sincere, very composed. We were very proud of her and as she came down to the pew (we were right up front) Chris and I both turned to her and told her what a great job she did and how wonderful it was. VeeVee took our distraction as an opportunity to slip out of the pew and make her way up front, ready to follow in Mo's footsteps and take advantage of that available microphone and that audience that, evidently, needed to hear what she had to say.

I saw her just in time to alert Chris, who sprinted for the pulpit, getting there just in time to help her with what to say. I'm still not sure what she said, but she was very pleased with herself and VERY pleased to hear all the laughs she got as the congregation watched her march confidently up there unaccompanied. Her determination and independence was adorable and something I don't think I'll ever forget.

Some people!

2010-03-10T13:18:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I forget that not everybody has worked as hard as I have at being unencumbered by needless worrying. We haven't all spent years perfecting the 2nd child-don't give a crap-they will be stronger for it-can't I just go back to sleep now attitude. Then I talk to somebody that's all UPTIGHT about things and I'm reminded of how sorry I feel for those over protective parents.

Like today, for example. I was on the phone with Mean Sister. She had given up on wondering when I would turn up to return her child and finally called to inquire. I let her know that I hadn't really narrowed that down yet. Sometime between 10am and 10pm, not sure exactly, but DEFINITELY she would have her daughter back before tomorrow.

I think I mentioned that the kids were all playing outside and I think she maaaayyy have asked what they were doing out there....this is where it gets awkward....I, in my very honest nature, did not lie to her, even though I recognized that she MIGHT have a small problem with what I was about to disclose. They were just having a great time playing with the giant tree pruners. Loppers, I think they're called. They were just lopping away at some branches. Pruning like little miniature gardeners. It was adorable.

She made me take away their toy. She was all I would appreciate if you did not let them play with the loppers while my child is there please. But, it was clear that she was screaming on the inside ARE YOU INSANE??? WHY, OH WHY, DO I EVER LET MY DAUGHTER GO TO YOUR HOME??? IT'S AS IF I DON'T EVEN LOVE HER ENOUGH TO PROTECT HER FROM YOU!!!

Like I said, some people are so uptight. How will these children ever learn to not cut off their fingers if we never give them a chance? It's not like she's a baby. She's TWO after all. ALMOST three. Pssshh. Luckily she has me to keep her tough.

The Fine Art of Subtlety

2010-03-10T07:30:00.000-08:00

Here were one of our sissie's Facebook posts today....

To her husband "Heff" (name changed because I'm subtle like that AND because I liked that Heff rhymes with Jeff and who doesn't like their code-name being Heff? that's just cool) : I found out why opposites attract when I met you. It's because everything I'm not, you are, and the pieces fit together perfectly.

On Bossy sissie's wall: You're never lonely when you have a sibling for a friend.

On other sissie's wall, who's usually "mean sissy", but being post-partum and all, I'll just stick with "other sissie": I'm smilin cos I'm ur sister....I'm laughin cos u can't do anythin about it!!!

All nice posts, right? A little too nice for our family, but it is the fruity sister, and we all know that she tends to be the exception to, well, everything. I'm trying not to read into what she posted on my wall. I tend to be the shrugger offer, not the reader inner, but still....

When the shit starts to fly, its usually a family member that switches the fan on............ Ha ha ha ha This was just to funny not to share

AM I THE FAN SWITCHER ONNER? IS THAT WHAT SHE'S TELLING ME????

Tuesdays with Ashlynn or The Why Chronicles

2010-03-09T17:22:00.000-08:00

My AshAsh is spending the night tonight. I offered to bring have her over so that her one-week-post-pardum mommy (and daddy) could have the night off...and just because it's fun for us. It was all going beautifully until we had been here for, oh, about 2 minutes.

Two things happen when Ash and I walk in my front door. First, Ash runs to my back door and goes on to the deck. Everytime. I don't know why. Just wants to play outside when she's here. Second, I run to the bathroom. I drink alot of water and have a problem using public restrooms.

Today, as she ran out the back door and I got ready to use the potty, she screamed, Morgan screamed for me, and I waddled as fast as I could to the back door while trying to pull my pants back up. I found my sweet niece at the bottom of the stairs, face first on the concrete step. Ouchy. Ugly knot on her forehead, but that's the worst of it. I did get a kick out of updating my FaceBook status to "IF your 2 year old niece were to fall down your deck stairs and land face first on the concrete, would you tell her one-week-post-partum mother or just let her read it on FB? Just wondering." That's good stuff. She was hoping it was a joke. Nope. Real.

After a quick recovery I started helping Morgan with the cleaning of the guinea pig cage. Ash was pretty curious about that whole process.

What are you doing?

Cleaning the guinea pig's cage.

Why?

To get the poop out.

Why?

Because she poops in it.

Why?

Because she has nowhere else to poop.

Why?

Because they don't make tiny little toilets for guinea pig cages.

Oh. Well...I have one. You can have it for your guinea pig.

You have a tiny little toilet for her cage?

Yes.

Okay then.

I think I'll send the guinea pig over to Jenny's house to get potty trained. Sounds like Ash has all the necessary tools for that job.

The Bacon Standard

2010-03-07T18:36:00.000-08:00

We got a new Winco this week. Super exciting news for us poor folk. Especially because they had a Grand Opening Week sale. We got a circular in the mail with coupons that were good through today, and they were all things we use at really great prices.

These coupons were SO good that we totally went dumpster diving at the Post Office. Tons of people had thrown the circular away and we grabbed them up. We gave a few away, but kept at least six. We only were able to get there three times, but each time we came home with a cart full of groceries for $40. It was the most excitement we've had in a long time. It was the kind of excitement that most people only feel in Vegas. We're that pathetic. We're that cheap.

One of the coupons was for bacon. 98 cent bacon! Fantastic! The limit was 2, so we've got six packages of bacon in our freezer just waiting to become BLTs. With all this bacon in the house, it's hard to think about anything else. I didn't realize how bad it had become until tonight, when Kai described something as costing "only a dollar" and Chris responded that "HELLO! Do you even REALIZE that we could get a package of BACON for that?!?!"

He's now announced that we will be referring to the value of things not in dollars, but in the bacon equivalent. We don't follow the gold standard, we follow the bacon standard. I don't know if I should be proud or embarrassed.

Glittercrotchie

2010-02-26T18:38:00.001-08:00

Morgan just alerted me to the fact that her little sister seemed to have a problem! and noted that perhaps I should take a look at my youngest daughter. I turned around to find Avery, fresh from her bath, still stark nakey, standing sort of like a person who has just gotten off of a horse and who's legs haven't realized that they can go back to normal. All bow-legged and stuff. And she was slightly bent over trying to investigate something going on in her private region.

The whole family let out a collective EWWWW! Gross! and then told me to take care of it.

Turns out that little Miss-Fresh-From-the-Tub-and-Still-Wet had snagged a can of red glitter and rubbed it allllll over her body. All over. So gross.

Baby wipes only made matters worse so I've now got her back in the tub hoping that the glitter will dislodge itself and that she didn't enjoy the sensation of her naked body covered in glitter, because, c'mon, that would not bode well for her future now would it?

Dude, We're Getting So Old

2010-02-21T14:23:00.000-08:00

That's all I can think of when I look at the pictures from our 10 year anniversary trip. I don't FEEL that old, so why do I look like I'm almost FORTY??? I would have liked to have spent our 10 year anniversary getting botox, but since it is OUR anniversary and not MY anniversary, we decided to do something that we'd both love and remember forever. So we did.

Have I mentioned that our marriage lasting this long is something of a miracle to us? It's true. Here are just a few of the many reasons:

1) Statistics alone are against us. Coming into this, each having our own child, each not out of the previous relationship all that long, the odds weren't good.

2) The Family And Friends Betting Pool on how long we would last, whether we'd even make it to the wedding date, and if so, how long after, was not a good sign.

3) The reason for #2 being formed, which was my tendancy to get engaged and then call it off.

4) His sleeziness.

5) My judginess.

6) The many near divorces that we went through in the first year. Or two. Maybe three.

That's enough about the reasons we shouldn't have made it, but you can see that we take a bit of pride and amusement in the fact that we HAVE made it this far and we just keep getting happier.

It makes me wonder, does starting off un-happy make your happy potential actually higher? Did we do the right thing by setting our expectations so low? By getting married because neither of us could afford our rent alone, were we on the right track?

I don't think it's a recipe for happiness. I think we just make each other laugh and find each other very attractive, but I don't think it hurt that we have a mutual determination to show everyone how wrong they were about us not lasting. We like to win. We're winners. And our prize is being happier than either one of us could ever imagine. Chris said it best last night, "Amy, you're like the most amazing package of smokin hot AND a best friend who gets all of my jokes and movie lines." The fact that we both feel that way about each other makes it a pretty great life.

For the Love of a Good Fight

2010-02-03T19:41:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure exactly what makes me like watching Vee pick a fight. I kind of wonder if it's my awareness that this is the twilight years of my toddler parenthood. Next month GrantC will be 5 and in the fall Vee and I will be all alone together. Just me for her to argue with and growl at. I feel that sadness, that empty-nestishness, that moms feel when they're babies are growing up too fast.

Baby Plankton is the best. I realize in some small part of my shrinking brain that I shouldn't find pleasure in her naughtiness. I know that it's only going to ruin her and teach her that naughtiness is funny, but she's just so blasted cute to me. I almost wish I could love her just a little bit less. Or love her enough to be harder on her and punish her more often.

I think my weakness for her is heightened by these last 2 being so close together. Having the first three spread out so far gave me plenty of time to appreciate the stages that each one was going through. Now, it feels like an avalanche, like it's all cascading so fast that I can't even catch my breath. That, and the fact that if I didn't find pleasure in VeeVee's nasty side, then it would be kinda hard to like her at all.

That's not true. She has a delightful side too, but that need to make Grant scream is just so dominant.

It's the look on her face when she's deliberately irritating him that I can't resist. I KNOW, it's got to be the 2nd child in me. I know exactly how she's feeling. I know that utter pleasure that comes from having full control over your older siblings emotions, that "Tell me it makes you angry"ness that us younger sisters like to wield over those bossy older's heads. We get it from years of having to wait, having to be told what to do, having them rub their olderness in our faces.

That, and she's the baaaaaby and is going to be spoiled rotten and I may just pay for it years down the road. I love that little Plankton baby.

Thank you for the therapy session tonight. I'm sure Becky is so happy to hear that I only refused to turn off the bedroom light or hold my farts in because of my own inner frustration. That, and a really bad stubborn evil streak.

General Conference Weekend

2010-02-03T11:19:00.000-08:00

Originally written 10/5/09

Our traditional buffet for General Conference weekend:

It helps to keep the kids quiet, focused, and excited. This year, Grant cried "I WANT GENERAL CONFERENCE" because I was taking too long cooking. It was a beautiful moment for me. Even more beautiful was having all 3 littles sit through both of Sunday's 2 hour sessions without complaint or problem. They were great. I hope this tradition continues to make Conference weekend fun.

A Letter to My Sweet Sweet Niece

2010-02-02T22:11:00.000-08:00

Dear Curly-Girlie,

Next time that your mommy threatens you that you Better not poop your pants at Aunt Amy's house or we're GOING STRAIGHT HOME, please PLEASE do not listen to her. You just go ahead and crap those suckers. Fill 'em good. You know why? Because then your mommy is the only one who has to clean up your poop.

You know what, if you need to, you just go ahead and poop outside. That always worked for me as a kid, and I do know that you're comfortable with that method, so, please, feel free.

Seriously, though, little lighter on the toilet paper kiddo. I do love exploring my masculine side and snaking the toilet repeatedly didn't work, so I got to yank the toilet out and go in through the bottom. Amazingly it really was just crazy amount of toilet paper, not a toy or a toothbrush or anything exciting. I was kind of disappointed about that. I was hoping for something fun.

And, Princess Girl, I do know that my toilet clogs easily and you were a good girl to make it to the toilet, I'm just having fun for the blog! Now to go have a nice bleach bath and try to get the poop off me. I'm so glad we have that sanitize cycle on the washer because nothing that you had put in there had gone down. At all. So, I'm pretty sure the sanitize cycle was necessary.

MoMo makes another entry in the Berg Dictionary

2010-02-01T22:41:00.000-08:00

Mo gets tummy aches quite often. I'm trying to pay attention to what she eats in an attempt to make a connection to some food group, but so far it's still a mystery.

Tonight it was aching badly enough that she was hunched over, wandering around in pain, moaning and generally being miserable, so I offered her some stomach medicine. She accepted the offer and I sent Chris to give her some Pepto.

Turns out she's not a fan of the Pepto. She's never had it and she's pretty sure we were trying to kill her. We weren't. She cried and cried on my lap and I really did worry that she would puke. Kinda like 7-Up makes me throw up instead of the opposite. She didn't puke, but she did coin my new favorite phrase: MOM, that was SO gross! That was so gross that it even made we wish that I didn't even HAVE any Taste Buddies.

Taste Buddies... Taste Buddies... I love it so much that I haven't stopped saying it. I have a feeling that this will go down in Berg-o-pedia history right next to Put Another Dime in the Juice Box, Baby and Cheesy Warm-Warms and Crown instead of Crayon.

It also reminds me of Grant sobbing because he didn't want to be "drownded" when we told him he was grounded. And of Grant refusing to use the word "people", insisting instead on calling them "humans". Have I mentioned that one? It's really freaky when little dude is all LOOK, Mom, there's a human in my fire truck. It's just plain weird.

Vee is a Sunbeam for Jesus

2010-01-31T15:12:00.000-08:00

Her teacher made them these crowns and tshirts and lot's more stuff too.

We Shall Name Her Amy

2010-01-27T09:55:00.000-08:00

Chris: Hey, babe, are you gonna get in the bath?

...an hour later... Amy? Were you taking a bath tonight?

... a half hour later... I thought you wanted to take a bath?

Kenzie: WHAT is UP with you wanting mom to take a bath so bad? What is your DEAL???

Chris: Well, Mackenzie...your mother is a beautiful women and there's something that you need to understand...

Kenzie: Ew! You're DISGUSTING!

Chris: No, no, no...hear me out. Your mother is a beautiful woman. A beautiful woman, who at this moment, looks like she's recently been birthed. Not like she's recently given birth. But like she's recently been squeezed through the birthing canal and is still covered with that greazzzzy coating of stuff. Even her hair resembles a freshly birthed infant, not yet cleaned up.

He was so right. I laughed until I cried..really cried...at how amazingly spot-on his comparison was.

In my defense, I am SO stressed out about making this cake right now. I have nothing else, even my own hygiene, anywhere near my radar. Cake is my life. Cake is my universe.

Come to think of it, it's kinda funny that the cake is for a baby SHOWER. Hahaha! I make me laugh. My kids make me laugh more though. Grant keeps asking when I'm gonna be done with the cake for Jenny's baby washing. Took me a while to figure out that he meant Baby Shower. I love how their little brains work!

Let's talk more about ME

2010-01-25T22:15:00.000-08:00

Many years ago, the Prophet sat aside Monday nights as Family Home Evening. The one night each week that we've been asked to set aside to spend with our families. We generally have an opening song, prayer, lesson, game, prayer again, and desert. Sometimes, if time is short or we're just plain unprepared, we'll just gather around the table, eat some ice cream, and talk about a scripture or experiences that help us learn more about Heavenly Father.

I love Family Home Evening. I love that it's something we've been instructed to do. Otherwise, it would SO not get done. As it is, we have FHE almost every week. We don't answer the phone, nobody has other engagements, no play-dates, just us.

Tonight, Chris read us the parables of the Ten Virgins and of the Talents. The kids paid attention, they added input. It was great. Then he went around the room and had each child share one of their talents and how they can share that talent with others. Here's what they shared...

Kenzie is an actress (said dramatically while throwing her arms in the air) and she is able to get to know how different people view life and appreciates her own life more because of the characters she portrays. She also gets to touch people's lives.

Kaila is a singer. Songs can be a form of worship and sharing a Gospel message with others and just generally touching people's hearts.

Morgan had good manners. Through using her good manners she has made more friends and people like her.

Grant is a builder. He said that maybe someday he could build a house for a man who doesn't have anywhere to live. Why does he have to make mommy cry?

Avery is a dancer. Then she danced and shook her little bum off while we all laughed and we realized that her talent makes us all happy. It's really quite awesome to watch, too.

When it was my turn I took a second to think and before I could answer my kids had thrown in GREAT thoughts about what my talents are. I had no idea that they thought that I'm a great baker, or a great writer, or anything else. That was the best part of the lesson for me. Very sweet.

Chris said that through his sense of humor he has been able to make people comfortable and make friends. He has been able to share the gospel and be a good example of our beliefs.

Morgan's 4th 7th Birthday Party

2010-01-20T22:01:00.000-08:00

For her fourth and final 7 year old birthday party we headed out to my parent's house for her choice of birthday dinner. She, as you'll see all over Avery's face, choose spaghetti. And I choose to make a very simple cake with store bought frosting and sprinkles. It was a lovely, low stress, experience.

We started our day off at the zoo. There was no school because it was MLK day. We took AshAsh with us.

You might think that Avery is shirtless because we had spaghetti. You would be wrong. You is shirtless because she dressed herself and I didn't realize that all day long there was shirt under her jacket. I guess I'm just glad that it wasn't a hot day at the zoo, or we'd be Girls Gone Wild all over again.

Morgie's Birthday or Adventures in Fondant part 2

2010-01-20T08:27:00.000-08:00

Morgan's birthday came along and I realized that we had no plans and no school, so I got Leanna to bring her kids up for the day. We baked them cupcakes and let them decorate them.

There must be something on the TV...

KaiKai and my 5th daughter/neighbor had a cupcake eating contest. It was hard to watch.
The Komps couldn't make it over for the day, so they came later and celebrated with us and my second attempt at a cake.

It was better than the Cowmel, but still baby stepping

Here's Morgan with her cake, talking to Grandma McCumber on the phone...

Ashlynn and Avery waiting for cake after they put on some dress ups and "did their hair". I think it was water. I hope it was water.

Morgan blowing out the only candle I could round up. Sorry, little nugget, at least you got candles on the cake we had at Grandma's house!

The Tradition Continues

2010-01-19T23:44:00.000-08:00

This year we chose to buy all the cousins matching jammies again, like last year. We've always done matching, but for ALL of them to match is only a 2 year tradition. I like it and I like the ones we chose this year. Thanks to Leanna for getting them in all of the children's sizes in one trip, that was awesome.

The only kid who wasn't pleased was Grant. He screamed PAJAMAS AREN'T A PRESENT and threw his across the room. Luckily, Aunt Leanna saved the day by teaching the kids to lift their tops and scream SPRING BREAK!!! This broke him out of his funk and we were able to get pictures. Yet another glimpse into the genius of Leanna.

Church Christmas Party

2010-01-19T23:33:00.000-08:00

Grant was the cutest shepherd EVER

Avery was a terrorist, running amock and crying alot.

Morgan was the most beautiful angel EVER

And KaiKai sang a beautiful duet about our Savior's birth. Kenzie accompanied the duet on the piano.

Chris's Contribution

2010-01-19T23:28:00.000-08:00

After Kenzie got done with her attempt at being relieved of every taking photos again, Chris took a turn. Here is his big contribution to the only photographic record of Christmas Eve 2009...

He lovingly showed Jenny the shot and said "Look. You're showing." I'm sure she appreciated that.

You know what I do NOT appreciate? The size of that belly. Too small. Way too small.

Chris and I talked about it later, and agreed that Jenny looks amazing. Her face is only swollen enough to give her perfect lips and the rest of her is still not big at all. I hate her for that. If I had time I would put this next to one of my horrible pregnancy pictures, but I don't. Maybe tomorrow.

Their Favorite Present

2010-01-19T23:22:00.000-08:00

This was all the kids really wanted. I'll remember that when I contemplate staying awake all night for Black Friday next year.

The Berg Circus

Wait...how old is she?

Festival of the Nativity

Oh Christmas Tree

Oh Christmas Tree

Somebody misses her sissy

Let the decorating begin!

Grant's got moves

This is what we've always wanted...right? RIGHT?!

Grant thoughts

Celebrate every success

The gutting of the house

Save the last dance....

The never ending craft

Stellar Parenting episode #...ummm...who even knows? A lot.

Fondant. Because it was requested, not because I think I'm super awesome. But I am. But that's not why I'm posting them.

Morgan's Baptism

Re: Walmart Story

A "Walmart" story for ya. AND IT WASN'T ME!!!

Again with the genetics

Mackenzie does not support this post

Hereditary Addictions

When Chris gets home and wonders what exactly I did all day...

Ooooh, I think I love this one!

How many crafts have YOU done this week?

I should also mention...

First Day of School for those other kids...

Little dude goes to school

Meet my son, the robot

Hello Juneau part 2

A is for Awkward

Hello Juneau. Goodbye Grandma Part one: Chopper ride

Craptastic

I could have a blog dedicated solely to the Pierces

In case she was too fast for ya

Deep Speed

Kenzie's prom "narrative"...with a few comments from me thrown in for funs

"Official" prom photo

The Future of Politics

Another gymnast is born

The Kracken goes to Prom or Chris's worst nightmare or "Our" Prom

Finally!

Are you tired of bows yet?

VERY IMPORTANT UPDATE

Texting with my oldest

Rock on, 1st Graders

Avery's latest fashion statement

You underestimate my obsessing abilities

I try to keep it classy

Grant's first EVER at bat. I love me some tball.

Morganism

Amy is GREAT! She gave us chocolate CAKE!

Longest day ever

Dude. My ovaries.

Happy Birthday to Heather!

Why comments rock

Top Ten Reasons Why Dad's Cancer Sucks...other than the obvious fact that Dad has cancer

Easter was pretty good, in spite of the lame location

For My Mom

He's such a good tipper

Email Forwards

Before the day is over...Happy 5th Birthday, Grant!

Why I Love My Blog

a few more from the party...

America's Next Top 13 year old

Friday Flashback

Keeping the Sabbath Day Holy. Does that include craft related sales?

Love it

When will she learn her lesson? (hopefully NEVER)

Morganism

This deal saves me in more ways than one

Top Ten Battles Royale

My Latest Addiction

Top Ten Tuesday Topic!!!!!! You know you're excited

How to make me crazy

How to make me ovulate

Grant Quote

I see his point

Birth Control

Grant Quote