Goodbye cold weather, hello not as cold weather!

I volunteered to work at Time Out for Women in Las Vegas this weekend. My motives were not altruistic, I signed up so I could get in for free. Well, with the passing on of the prophet and his funeral being on Saturday, it has been postponed. What to do, what to do. I could cancel my flight and reschedule for later in the year. Or I could still go and enjoy my sisters five children pestering her all day, knowing that I am in no way obligated to do anything but sleep and read. I have chosen the later. The weather will not be great, but it won't be as bad as it is here. I know I will miss my kids, but I'll manage. I might even see a movie. WooHoo!

FHE II

Last night we watched a recent BYU address given by President Hinkley for FHE. Then Chris read President Hinkley's testimony from April 2006. I was really worried that the oak would not understand why the prophet died and we might be up with her all night. Luckily, she was ok. It was nice, but Superturd was pretty sure it was time for desert. When we finally concluded I asked him to give the closing prayer. No way. Just want some desert, thanks. We waited him out, which involved him flailing on the floor crying. Finally, in defeat, he made his huffing boy noise and folded his arms. He started fine, repeatedly blessed the food, then seemed stuck, so I prompted him to close in the name of Jesus Christ. At this point he threw his arms in the air and screamed "Yeah!!! Jesus Christ!!!" It took a few minutes to compose ourselves.

Among the Great Ones

Statement from GW

Statement from President George W. Bush:
Laura and I are deeply saddened by the death of our friend, Gordon B. Hinckley. While serving for over seven decades in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Gordon demonstrated the heart of a servant and the wisdom of a leader. He was a tireless worker and a talented communicator who was respected in his community and beloved by his congregation. As President of his church, he traveled to more than 60 countries to spread a message of love and optimism to the millions of people around the world who shared his faith.
A Mayflower descendent and the grandson of Mormon pioneers, Gordon was a deeply patriotic man. His leadership and service strengthened the Board of Trustees of Brigham Young University, the Boy Scouts of America, and the 2002 Winter Olympic Games in Salt Lake City. In 2004, I was honored to present him with the Medal of Freedom, our Nation's highest civil award, in recognition of his lifelong public service.
Laura and I will miss Gordon's friendship and wisdom. Our thoughts and prayers are with his five children and the rest of the Hinckley family.

Goodbye, friend :(

President Gordon B. Hinckley, who led The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints through twelve years of global expansion, has died at the age of 97.President Hinckley was the 15th president in the 177-year history of the Church and had served as its president since 12 March 1995.The Church president died at his apartment in downtown Salt Lake City at 7:00 p.m. Sunday night from cause’s incident to age. Member of his family were at his bedside. A successor is not expected to be formally chosen by the Church’s Quorum of the Twelve Apostles until after President Hinckley’s funeral within the next few days.

My little genius II

24 hours with no accidents. I'm not sure that they're accidental, but you know what I mean.

my little genius

Potty training boys blows big chunks of poo

I have become resigned to the fact that for the next 15 years i will have to set the timer for every 2 hours to remind my dear son to sit on the toilet. and even then he'll say he's done, go to the kitchen table and poop in his pants. does he have no nerve endings in his bum? Why are girls so much easier than boys? It's as if he likes the warm squishy. I wonder how many kids go to kindergarten in diapers...doesn't sound so bad.

3 babies

I love comparing pictures of the babies. Here's the three littles on their 1sts.

Month long birthday

We celebrated MoMo's bday again today at Chuck E Cheese. I hate that place, but not as bad as I hated the idea of facing a friend party. So, I negotiated a family party at the dirty pee ball tunnel instead.

You are my sunshine

We had a rare day of winter sun today and the girls broke some ice off of the creek to "skate" on the deck.

Look at VeeVee go!

Exactly

"The American Civil Liberties Union is arguing that people who have sex in public bathrooms have an expectation of privacy."
That's what I always expect when I have relations in public.

Tagged

A- Attached or Single: Depends on the day, usually pretty detached, i mean attached

B- Best Friends: I have no friends

C- Cake or Pie: Mmmm, cake...or pie, but more cake

D- Day of choice: Monday of a three day weekend

E- Essential Item: mascara

F- Favorite Color: grey

G- Gummi Bears or Worms: bears if I must have any

H- Hometown: Hickboro

I - Indulgence(s): chocolate ice cream

J- January or July: July, it finally stops raining

K- Kids: 5

L- Life is Incomplete Without: books

M- Marriage Date: somewhere around Valentine's day, 13th?

N- Number of Siblings: 4

O- Oranges or Apples: Oranges

P- Phobias or Fears: spiders, heights, bridges, deep water, going off of a bridge into deep water and trying to get my children out of their carseats and get the doors open and get to the surface holding onto all of them before before we drown, cramped spaces, suffocating, infidelity, losing a child, rats (not the pet variety, the uninvited in my house variety), public speaking, being the boss, not doing a good job raising my children, drugs, cancer, my kids using drugs or getting cancer, being wrong, beating my children till I can't stop, really real tornadoes, dinner parties, speaking to anyone not directly related to me, old age, war breaking out on US soil and us living in fear and turmoil .

Q- Quotes: There is nothing to fear but fear itself. These are the words i live by :)

R- Reason To Smile: my husband is funny

S- Season: fall

T- Tag Three: Becky, Leanna, Chris

U- Unknown Fact About Me: There are no unknown, so how about little known. Except, my two readers even know the little known, so this is really dumb. Let me see...I honestly have nothing. I've never smoked. I have my tubes tied.

V- Vegetarian or Meat Eater: Meat is murder, tasty tasty murder

W- Worst Habit: pooping my pants in public

X- X-Rays or Ultrasounds: I don't understand this

Y- Your Favorite Food: all of it, but seafood. maybe Mexican best.

Z- Zodiac: Bull

FHE pictionary

Meet "Osama the bad guy". He is the shooting target that the father of my sweet children made for them. Then he taught them to roll around on the floor shooting at him. Remembering to aim for the heart. Any guesses what political party we support? I'm so proud right now.

To my 2 readers, you know who you are

I got my blood drawn today. As usual, I'm hoping for hypothyroid, cause otherwise I'm just mean. Cross those stubby fingers for me. Also, I am working on my potty mouth. I only slipped twice today. Well, twice that I noticed. Since your fingers are already busy, cross those little circus like toes for me on that one.

Thrill of victory, agony of defacation

We woke up to a 6am phone call letting us know that there was the infamous NW black ice and school would be delayed by 2 hrs. Yeehaw, I'll ride that pony all the way back to sleep, thank you very much. Of course, we were woken again at 7:30 by the pit pat of super turd. I'll take 7:30 any day. I'm especially grateful for late start today because today was also State project day. AKA, this is due tomorrow and I need 20 3Dimensional items relating to Alaska plus a box to put it all in that is also decorating to reflect Alaska plus a note card for each item describing the said item and how it is relevant to said project. Before tomorrow. So the late start did give us a chance to finish that lovely job.
More importantly, while we were at the table this morning working, I heard Kiki (who was doing her hair in the bathroom. For the full 2 hours.) ask Superturd if he was going poop. Uh-oh. I hurried to help him clean up the accident that I assumed was waiting. Not only was there not, in fact, an accident, but there was my little man child sitting on the toilet. When questioned, Kiki revealed that not only did he take off his own pants, he also put the potty seat on the toilet and crawled up on the throne announcing that he was going to go poop. Oh, the joy that filled my cold heart. The tears that nearly filled my dry-dry eyes. What a glorious day in our home. My parenting efforts might actually mean something. Maybe not.
We went about our day of errands and endless driving, arriving home at about 12:30. Superturd ran upstairs to play. Superturd ran downstairs, through the house, and across the family room to tell me that he had had an accident. Apparently the apple juice was not sitting too well with little man. He had poop down his leg (thank goodness for elastic ankle sweats, it was just like a little poop bowl in those things) and into his shoes. And across the carpet. And down the stairs. And on his sister's bedroom floor. Poor baby duh-duh. It was awful. Chris couldn't figure out what was possibly strong enough to sterilize the carpet, since you can't pour bleach directly onto the carpet. I assured him that there is already enough gross stuff on our carpet from our shoes, he could just clean it up.
So, that was the low point of the day. That, and our child, while giving her state presentation to the class, announcing that she had just thrown it all together last night. I was so proud to be there at that moment. Why do I try?

My last baby isn't a baby anymore :(

Which Friends Character Are You?
	You are Chandler. You're funny and that's why people like to have you around. You're also a great friend, and when someone you care about is in trouble, they know to come to you for some level-headed advice followed by some sharp sarcasm.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

Seattle's achilles heal

The missionaries were so helpful to point out that I was the only one not wearing seahawks apparel, and that Chris probably blames me for the loss. Thanks, guys.

The pain is finally over

The Seahawks ended a glorious season on Saturday by losing to the packers in the 2nd round of the playoffs. It was a hard day in our house, but in the end it's for the best. Much like pulling off a band aid, I like to get it over with. I'm sure Chris would disagree fervently, but for me, it's good to be done. Here are the highlights of the game as I saw it:



-The Seahawks scored twice... in their first two plays. Pretty exciting stuff. I didn't appreciate it. I knew they were only getting his hopes up so that they could be dashed into the rocks of defeat and shame.



-The game started on a field of green, but by halftime it was like a winter wonderland. A slippery, very un-Seattle like, winter wonderland. Watching those little guys in the silky, tight costumes slip around like figure skaters was awesome. I'm pretty sure I am alone in this sentiment, too. But, come on, there were some sweet triple axels preformed on Lambo field that day.



-At the end of the first quarter we (by we, I do mean Seattle) were ahead 14-0. By halftime we were down 28-17. This tells you how the 2nd quarter looked. Not pretty. Not happy. Not child friendly. It was during this quarter that our doorbell rang. It was the missionaries. Usually a welcome distraction. Not so much right then. Add to this that Chris had again lost the remote and couldn't even pause the game during their visit. Very painful visit with the elders. Isn't there a moment where you realize it's not a good time for a visit? I guess not.



-Chris screaming something R rated at the TV in the 3rd quarter made Superturd cry. Really cry. Like Roger calling in sick on a no school day type of crying. The, what did I do I really, truly don't know why you hate me so much, crying. So sad. So little Superturd and I held each other and rocked back and forth for a while.



-Kiki thought it would be fun to ask why Stadd couldn't just control his emotions, after all it's only a game, what are you a child? Good move, Kiik. We just got those braces off, don't go getting those pearly whites knocked out now. I have to say that Chris did just say "Don't, just don't". He's a better man then me.



-It was sweet that she put on her jersey and watched the whole game with him. That was cute. And she folded the laundry while she watched. Probably the most impressive move I saw on or off the field that day.



- By the end of the 3rd quarter it was that somber silence that has everyone feeling just so chipper.



- In the end it was the highest-scoring postseason game in Packers' history.



I'm so glad it's over.

I do have one thing to say

V took 9 steps in a row last night, and repeated it several times. She's a baby prodigy, really. We thought the light in the backyard coming through the fog yesterday was so pretty. Then Kiki stepped out to take a picture and realized that it was just the neighbor burning trash. It was really stinky trash, too. I think that must be against the law. I don't know, though, there's been a lot of changes in the law.

I have nothing in my brain, so here's a video

Further tornado excitement

See where the tornado was at 12:40? yeah, that's our neighborhood! They say there are 200 trees down in Hockinson.

Photographic proof that we nearly died.

Look, it's a squished tomato...I mean big tornado.

We are going to die.

Apparently it was a tornado. No injuries, but I do apologize to the news anchors for making light of the situation. Mo is seeking thearapy for the whole experience. She's using art therapy.

WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!! Storm 2008, live!

12:35pm the phone rings, it's my mom's cell phone. Pause. OK, I'll answer.
Garble, garble.
MOM, I can't hear you!
DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING?!
(Crap, Grandma died.)
What, mom?
Garble, garble... tornado...garble...do you have a basement? Get in the downstairs closet!
What?!
Here, listen...(she holds her phone up to the radio, where I hear a radio newsguy screaming that a tornado is hitting our neighborhood at 12:40pm.)
(Hmmm, that's in five minutes. Glad I answered the phone.) Thank you, mom, goodbye!
Where is the dang remote!!! I need to turn it to the news!!!
I call the school to make sure our kids have been sufficiently terrorized. They have, they are under their desks with the blinds drawn. The high schooler calls to say they are evacuating to the gym. Thank you, school.
I have the kids cram into the powder room with me. I have couch cushions and blankets over our heads. Meanwhile, Chris the Brave stays behind to find the remote. He eventually finds it under the unfolded laundry.
By this time #3 (our oak) is in hysterics. Mom, why does Jesus make storms, Mom?!?! Superturd is mimicking her. The baby doesn't want to be trapped in the bathroom (it's been 3 minutes, this is not good).
Luckily Chris had found the news, which told us that the danger had passed and we weren't as near death as once thought. In fact, it might not have been a tornado after all. Maybe just a thunder storm. Natalie on the news points out that it was A really loud thunder storm and you can never be too careful with those, you know. Are you kidding me?
My only real regret in all of this... not being on hand at the grade school when #2 was under her desk awaiting impending doom. I'm sure it was quite a show. Come to think of it, I might need to call the school and make sure they have gotten her calmed down now. I cant' wait to pick them up and hear all about the excitement.

Thanks for the guns, uncle dirt!

My son the frenchy

Super turd refuses to kiss me on the lips. He will kiss his dad, but he will not kiss me. Not on the lips. The little fruit cup grabs my face and turns it so that he is kissing me on the cheek. That's not the worst part. The worst part is that he then turns my face the other direction to kiss the other cheek. He throws a fit if I don't complete the process and let him kiss both of my cheeks. Then I am required to kiss both of his cheeks. His dad then yells at him, "Son, we are not French!" I think Chris needs Homocil. http://www.jibjab.com/view/98464. The link to this sight says this video may offend you. It won't. Well, maybe if your child is a gay, but not otherwise.

Christmas presents

Midgets, is our country really ready?

Dragon Swoop!



Say the word midget and this is what I see.


Mr. President and Mr. Little Vice President....aren't those suits cute?

There has been much in the news lately about our country's state of political correctness and where our country really stands on some of our current presidential candidates. We have never had a female president ( unless you count Hillary when Bill draft dodged his way to the White House ), a black president ( only the 2nd black candidate to run if you count Jesse Jackson...and you shouldn't count Jesse Jackson ), or a Mormon President ( only the 2nd to run, Joseph Smith ran after forming the LDS church. Who said you couldn't learn anything from that PBS Special? ).

I am sure I will be tired of this whole discussion between now and the November Presidential election it did allow me to ponder a different kind of candidate. What if a midget ran for president?I understand that discrimination against people of ethnicity, women, and religious belief are important subjects but how do we feel about little people? I don't think our country is ready for the image of a little president threatening Iran to drop it's nuclear programs or watching our president address the country about a national disaster like the recent fires or floods without giggling over his little suit?

Listen, I have a heart and I am am generally tolerant of other people and respect most beliefs ( except Tom Cruise ) but I want to be clear that I am not personally ready for a tiny commander-in-chief. Heaven help me but every time I even hear the word 'midget' I can't help thinking of the movie Willow and giggling.

Having said all of that I would like to see a midget run for the President of the United States of America. Could you imagine the smear campaigns when the other candidates find out about Tiny's past midget tossing position at the nearby University?

Oh if only.

-Chris

My week in video

Moses, Moses (or what you get for $5500)

Before before

Before

After

Thanks Dr. Moses.

Best Article EVER

http://www.rd.com/content/the-different-reasons-men-and-women-laugh-out-loud/

I love magazines. Little nuggets of wisdom (or trash), articles short enough to finish between parenting tasks. Reviews of books I wish I could read, or reviews of Britney's choices. I love it all. I would rather read a book all day long, but that's what it becomes. All day long. I can't stop once I get started, so instead I subscribe to every magazine printed. One of these (I feel the best one) is Readers Digest. I first fell in love with RD as a child. One of the only magazines in my home and I loved the jokes. Now I love the interesting articles. Particularly the ones that let me know the symptoms of diseases that I most likely have. I wouldn't even know about my pending death if it wasn't for these helpful writers. I am not a hypochondriac. As I have often pointed out to my husband, I don't ever go to the doctor. Hypochondriacs go to the doctor. I self-diagnose and then plan for my motherless children's future while fretting over all of my symptoms. This whole tangent has nothing to do with the reason I am writing today.

The reason I must blog is on page 97 of Sept/07 RD. As I mentioned previously, I have only small windows of time to read, so I am only now reading the magazine which arrived most likely in August. The title of the brilliance is "Why Men and Women Laugh Out Loud". (Not the most apt title. I would have gone with "Proof that Men's Brains Closely Resemble that of a Nine-Year-Old Boy.") This was an article that should have been copied and mass emailed by every married women on the planet. It legitimizes so many feelings that I have about my husband. I can't really capture the glory of it all. Just click on the link above. It was written by a man. It not only made me laugh, it also made my husband laugh. Really hard. I loved the University of Toronto study proving that men's senses of humor most resemble that of brain damaged individuals. My husband loved the the part about guys enjoying other guys getting kicked in the groin. I don't know how many times last night he said, "Kicked in the balls, hehehe"(he likes any excuse to say that). Read and enjoy, you're life will be better for it.

Eulogy

You came into our lives as partial payment for a loan, but you were so much more than that. At first you were just "little blue car", maybe blueberry or bluey if we were feeling spunky. Then came that fateful night when stew was spilled all over your front seat and it was as if destiny had named you. "Stewy bluey". You were always there for us, stewy. Great gas mileage was only part of your magic. You never complained, never any problems. Even when you sat in the driveway, undriven, for four months. With the window down. In the rain. Eventually growing mold on every surface of your interior. Still, you started right up and ran like a champ. A little, blue, stew covered, mold infested, champ. Now, you have moved on. On to a family who will drive you daily, roll up your windows, and probably clean the stew off of the upholstory. A family that doesn't have five children. A family who can actually see the floor of their garage. You will be missed my friend. You will be missed.

Happy December Birthdays

With all the holiday excitement I have neglected my two December babies' birthdays.

Happy 1st Birthday VeeVee

And Happy 5th Birthday to miss MoJo. Banner courtesy of Kai.

The Passion II

Mo was so stressed out about the van being stuck in the snow. Very stressed out. She was relieved when we finally freed it from it's wintery trap. She let us all know that she had prayed to Jesus Christ for it to be ok and He took care of it. Thanks, MoMo, we should have thought of that.

Happy New Year, we win!

The annual Thayer-Berg New Years trip to the cabin almost ended in a tie. Alas, the Thayers pulled ahead with a nice fight on the last morning. Something about "I'm not watching your children and your dog" and "That's fine, just leave me, my children and my dog here and go home without us". Good stuff. The real winners of the weekend were me and Mackenzie with a rousing screaming match about sticking tongues out at siblings. This doesn't count, though, as the contest only includes couples. I believe that Chris now working from home has made our propensity for fighting diminish. Too bad for the Thayers. They may never see a rematch of the Seaside Battle Royale 2004.

On another note, the van got stuck in the snow and Jeff, Chris and Richard couldn't get it out. There has only been snow as low as the cabin on one other year, so we weren't expecting it. The husbands went into Sandy to buy chains and a tow rope which did the trick. Still, the whole fiasco took most of the trip to work out. Sorry, Jeff. As usual, good food at ZigZag inn, Calamity Jane's, and Huckleberry inn. Good game nights and no tv make me happy. It was also nice to have the fire already started when we arrived thanks to Richard. We couldn't make it up to the slopes with our van, so the kids and dads sledded down the driveway (see video). I think it worked out better anyway. The warm cabin was a step away, and we didn't have to spend atll that time in the car getting around. As always, a great trip, good company, and a fun tradition.