Best Party EVER

Somehow Kaila and I came up with the BRILLIANT idea to have her birthday party be a Twilight theme. We had a big plan and talked about it for months, then a few days before the party we found out that the DVD was being released THE SAME NIGHT! I was so so so so hoping that there would be midnight release parties and we were not disappointed. Kaila's other mom generously let us keep Kaila on Friday night -which is usually hers- so that we could put this all together.

Our amazing cake decorating friend, Rebecca, offered to make her a Twilight birthday cake. We didn't give her any direction. Just Twilight. What she came up with was better than anything I could ever have imagined. It was truly amazing... The kiddos all made matching Twilight shirts to wear to the mall. They were so funny. Z100 cranked, dancing their fool butts off. It brought back great memories of my cousins!

The wait for the DVD started at 9pm. We were third in line outside the mall. They let us in at 10, and then the line continued until they opened the doors at midnight. They had trivia games and lots of paraphernalia to buy. The girls were great. They're all such fun kids and I really enjoy them. Aunt Jenny drove all the way over to wait with us. Everybody loves Aunt Jenny. They girls were so excited to see her. She feels quite comfortable giving them all a hard time and I think they kinda like that.

As they opened the doors to sell the movie they crowd was all screaming and the adrenaline was running pretty high. They all got free twilight posters and we headed home to watch the movie. They didn't make it all the way through it, so they got up in the morning and finished it. The funniest part of the night, for me at least, was driving home from the mall. The kids were all smashed in my car with me. Kaila had the radio cranked, scream singing every word to every song. When Kanye West came on and I started singing along Kaila pooped all over our bench seats. She yelled YOU GUYS!!! My mom is SINGING KANYE WEST!!! She couldn't believe that I would know any of his songs. Psshhh. She has no idea.

This is the next morning when the girls decided to stalk a deer for breakfast. It was AWESOME.

So, after all of that excitement, the next day we went to Wicked (the musical) with Aunt Jenny. Again, AWESOME. Loved every minute of it. I was afraid that I would fall asleep after such a late night, but it was so good that it wasn't a problem. Ok, I did close my eyes for a couple minutes, but not long! I loved it.

Kaila got a bloody nose going in and another one on our way out. Poor kid.

Interview with KaiKai...almost 12 years old

1. What is something mom always says to you? I don't care (yes you can do that)

2. What makes mom happy? When the kids are asleep

3. What makes mom sad? When the kids are awake.

4. How does your mom make you laugh? When she laughs so hard that she snorts.

5. What did your mom like to do when she was a child? You avoided the man in the van with the candy.

6. How old is your mom? 34?

7. How tall is your mom? 5'4"

8. What is mom's favorite thing to do?be on the computer...does that count? or read

9. What does your mom do when you're not around? I don't know, I'm not around

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?

11. What is your mom really good at? Her AWESOME dance moves

12. What is your mom not very good at? Does folding laundry count?

13. What does your mom do for her job? babysit kids

14. What is your mom's favorite food? I'm gonna have to go with Symphony bars

15. What makes you proud of your mom? Her awesome baby books that she makes and her cooking skills! She's famous with the kids at school for her banana bread.

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be? Mr Crabs

17. What do you and your mom do together? We study for tests and brag about how AWESOME second children are (Dear aunt becky...you suck)

18. How are you and your mom the same? We're second children. We agree on food

19. How are you and your mom different? She has boobs and I don't...no, no, no, she has fun bags and I have nothing. That's better.

20. How do you know your mom loves you? She makes my birthday party special

21. What does your mom like most about your dad? his humor

22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go? Walgreens

Interview with my 15 year old about me...Now I tag you to do the same with your kids

1. What is something mom always says to you?
be quiet(instead of saying shut up when I'm arguing) or STOP THAT

2. What makes mom happy?
Napping or us cleaning for her or us leaving her alone

3. What makes mom sad?
sad? I don't know, I know what makes her mad, though. I would say lying but that just makes her angry not sad

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
she says funny things and has funny facial expressions

5. What did your mom like to do when she was a child?
climb trees and torture your older sister

6. How old is your mom?
am I supposed to say 28?

7. How tall is your mom?
5'5" ?

8. What is mom's favorite thing to do?
blog and go on facebook and "clean" hahaha

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
blog and facebook and wish she could sleep

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
humorous writing skills and pure beauty, but NOT for being a public speaker

11. What is your mom really good at?
listening to me when I'm being a teenage girl and telling funny stories and blogging and talking on the phone and she's good for having fun with, I like to go on long drives with her so that I have her in a confined space and she has to listen to every word I say.

12. What is your mom not very good at?
holding me (she has a big personal space bubble), sympathizing

13. What does your mom do for her job? mother

14. What is your mom's favorite food? mexican

15. What makes you proud of your mom?
she keeps up with styles and doesn't dress like an old woman yet and she's not ugly...yet. And ALL of my friends think she's the coolest mom EVER and want to visit her.

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be? yoda

17. What do you and your mom do together?
talk and occasionally shop and sometimes she talks me in to skipping school and hanging out with her and we go for drives so that I can get my practice hours in and we stalk my friends and crushes on facebook together and all of the guys that she thinks are hot are NOT

18. How are you and your mom the same? we're both always right

19. How are you and your mom different? I'm organized and she's not

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
she listens to me and doesn't tell me to shut-up or that I'm stupid, although she won't hold me, I know that somewhere deep down she does love me

21. What does your mom like most about her husband?
he's funny and he likes her and I think that he has an outgoing personality that counteracts her shy "please nobody talk directly to me" personality

22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
Vegas to see her sister. Or get home after going anywhere else. She wants to travel.

In Case You Haven't Read Enough About My Armpits

Me: The sun came out yesterday, which means that I instantly started sweating, even though it never got over 50 degrees. I swear the sun touches my skin and I smell.

Beck: What about your magic deodorant?!

Me: It's SO bad that after the rushing around, feeding the elderly couple, taking Mackenzie to her meeting, and baking, I smelled like dad after a long day of working in the yard...but worse. The minute I ran in the door I had to change and get everyone over to Doug's house for dinner, so I ran upstairs, yelled at Chris that I needed to wash the stink off me then he yelled at me to please be more specific, I yelled my armpits, then I yelled an apology to the children in our home who are not my own for having to hear that whole conversation. Once I got my stinky clothes off I realized that there was even more smell going on than I thought. I grabbed a scratchy wash cloth and soap and scrubbed most of my armpit skin off. I still smelled. I tried again. Nope, still smelled. I was getting a little panicked, so I dug around and saw the Rubbing Alcohol. I figure it kills bacteria...B.O. is from bacteria...why not? I poured it all over my underarms. I'm glad I hadn't just shaved. It totally worked.

Beck: You should have tried Listerine...it kills 99% of the germs that cause bad breath.

Me: Bad BREATH, not armpits.

Beck: Bacteria is bacteria, I'm just saying you should give it a shot.

That's what big sisters are for.

I'm Pretty Sure That's Not How She Meant It

POST UPDATE 3/14: I failed to point out that after saying the laying thing, my eyes got really wide and I looked at Kiki, she realized what she had said and was HORRIFIED, that's why it's funny, because she didn't mean it that way.


I've been meaning to blog about something funny Kiki said the other day. I just keep FORGETTING. Tonight I had our friends kids after school and I was baking bread and cookies for the kids and then, at 3:30, I remembered that I was in charge of taking dinner to an elderly couple and I wasn't even MAKING dinner because Douglas had invited us over for dinner, so I had NOTHING planned yet and I panicked wondering what in the world I could even make for these lovely people PLUS I had to take Kiki to a meeting 20 minutes away at 5:30 and I didn't even know if Chris would be HOME by that time, so what was I going to do with all of those kids? During all of that my kids were filling me in on their days and the two youngest hadn't napped and I thought I might lose my mind. It was then that my oldest decided to remind me that I STILL haven't blogged that story yet. I kindly asked her to outline it for me and save it as a draft so that I wouldn't forget, and then I would log back on when I had time and write it in my own words. When I pulled up her draft I decided that I like it so much I can't change a thing. I know that she was trying to make me laugh with some of the things she said, but that's part of what I love about it. This is a true story, in her own words....



I was talking to my amazing super hot smart daughter Mackenzie the other night. We were talking about the chickens, I was explaining to her that if we got desperate enough we actually COULD NOT eat the chickens because they're not that kind. I told her that our chickens were laying chickens and not eating chickens. She then responded "Like me! You couldn't eat me, I'm just used for laying." She's so funny and smart.....and single.(insert our phone number here)



I wonder if she's going to kill me for posting it as is.

13 cents on groceries...12 dollars on girl scout cookies

I'm sure I've mentioned that we're poor. This week or month is really rough. We just need to get through two and a half more weeks and then we can buy food.

We have food, but the kids don't think we do. You know what I mean?

This weekend our big project was to find the missing gift cards. For Christmas we got an Applebee's gift card and a movie theater gift card from Kiki and KaiKai. We also got a large Walmart one from his dad and stepmom.

Then we lost them.

We haven't seen any of them since we cleaned up all of the wrapping paper after opening gifts. Being the optimistic type that I am, I was sure they were in the trash.

We prayed and prayed that we'd be able to find them and find a way to get groceries. Chris found the ones from the kids (hallelujah) but the Walmart one is still missing (dang).

We kept finding used up ones while we were searching, it was really frustrating to think you've found one and look up the balance to find out that you used it years ago. BUT somewhere we found one with $30 on it!

That's what we used for groceries last night. We went carefully up and down each aisle, trying to keep track of how much we had spent. I made sure to get fruit and vegetables. He made sure to get bread that is not made at home.

When we got up to the register it rang up at $30.13. I can't believe how exciting that was. We almost high fived right there in Walmart.

Then I spent $12 dollars on Girl Scout Cookies because I'm a sucker for a kid. He was so mad at me.

Please don't get the wrong idea! We're not starving, we're just trying to make it to payday.

Post Maternity Pants

After we both changed our pants we headed to Walmart for groceries. I am feeling really really self conscious about my black/grey roots taking up half of my head. I told him that I'm so desperate I'm about ready to sell my body to pay for getting my hair done. His answer was touching...

Babe, that's a great theory, but you're on the wrong side of the cycle. You need to get your hair done FIRST so that you'll be ABLE to get customers.

Monday Mystery Reveal

I know, not very tricky. I guess the only tricky thing is that it's not Vee. It's baby whale boy with red gel in his hair.

Maternity Pants

Chris found the best pair of sweats tucked away in the closet yesterday. He was so excited and he couldn't believe that they had been there all along and he had forgotten about them. It took awhile, but eventually I did tell him that they were my maternity sweats. That did not prompt him to take them off.

He put them back on when he got home tonight. I was all Are you wearing your maternity sweats to the grocery store? And he was like NO, are you going to wear those camel toe pants to the grocery store!?

Then he laughed his butt off at himself and said Blog THAT! Who's laughing now Hahahaha!!!

Monday Mystery

Not very mysterious.

Fast Like a Horse

Most nights now my boy will say his own prayers. Three year old prayers are the best, aren't they? Last night's was extra special...

Thank you for this day. Thank you for my friends. Thank that I can run really really fast like a horse.

Then, in one swift motion, he jumped straight out of his bed, ran down the hall, and ran back and jumped back into prayer position and continued...

just like that, like a horse. And, wait a minute (in the loud whisper that kids do) mom, when can i get a dog? You don't know? OK, well, thank you even though I can't get a dog yet.


I'm thinking maybe I should hide these pictures of that one month that we tried to be dog people. Poor Sadie, I hope she found some nice people that don't puke repeatedly at the smell of hot dog poop right outside their bedroom door. Poor Kaila, watching me puke all the way down the hall and being trapped by all the dog poop and vomit. I'm sorry, son, ask KaiKai, we should really never ever have a dog again. Ever.

He Can Thank Sam for This

My cousin Sam posted a blog about her and her daughter keeping a notebook of ideas for inventions. I was inspired by that and I think about it as I'm parenting. I want my kids to explore their ideas and I try not to be so quick to tell them that something won't work or that they're stupid. I don't think I've ever called them stupid. Not to their faces. You know what I mean.

This morning my little man and my baby girl were throwing empty egg cartons over the banister. I didn't know about it until he ran in to tell me that one had landed on the top of the hangey downey light in the entry way. Kiki was helpful and took the broom to get it down. When she finished that her and little man started trying to throw the egg carton back and forth. Him on the ground, her up above.

There was no way that the empty egg carton would ever reach that far up. He got frustrated, but he kept thinking. He pulled a kitchen chair over and climbed up on it. He was disappointed when that wasn't enough either. He asked me if he could stack another chair on top of that chair. No. Could he stack a bunch of blocks up and put the chair on top of that? No. Seriously, at this point I told him to give it up, the egg carton was not engineered to fly.

Then he made the "light bulb moment" face...he ran into the playroom and grabbed one of the flying-screaming monkeys that Chris bought for ALL of the cousins a few Christmas' ago (you're welcome, again, Becky). He asked me if I could please use a ribbon and attach the monkey to the egg carton around it's belly, then he would pull it's tail while I held it's arms. I thought of Sambo and I had to let him try it. It totally worked! I was so proud of him for thinking of a solution and he was so proud of himself.

Now, I had Mackenzie video tape it and I'm willing to sacrifice whatever might have been left of my dignity to share this beautiful moment with you. I have no defence for how I look. Or how my roots look. Yes, I do, my roots are because I'm flat broke. I can, however, afford a shower and/or makeup, but look at it this way, it's even more entertainment value for you! AND I'm proud because Kiki helped me edit the clip and add slowmo and music. We're so teamwork. Enjoy.

Sunshine makes everything better

Look at these two playing like they love each other. This would never happen on a rainy day.

A Video for You

This video is more about Mo's wonderful work on saying her Rs than it is about her spectacular reading ability. She's awesome. Listening to her makes me smile. Then she asks why I'm laughing at her. Then she starts crying. It's a wonderful cycle.

More Hottness

Please put on your best sympathy face

I gave myself food poisoning. I think it was all of the cookie dough that I had for breakfast...and lunch. I felt fine until after dinner, then I spent the rest of the evening in the bathroom. I'm so grateful for the short distance between my toilet and my sink, since I needed to utilize both at once. On a brighter note I only poisoned myself and I'd rather clean up my own mess than someone else's.