Have I mentioned that I don't learn from my mistakes?

You know how if I'm eating really really well, really "clean" and then I go and eat something bad for me, something cheat worthy, how I get really sick? Like the First Cheat Day Ever when I went all week being the perfect healthy type person and then started off Cheat Day with a giant size Symphony bar. STARTED OFF. And my body said What the...?! and I spent the rest of the day laying in a pool of sweat on the bathroom floor trying not to vomit. Because no matter how much better I might feel AFTER vomiting, it's not worth it to me to experience THE vomiting. I hate it that bad. I could never be bulimic. I've tried. Can't do it.

Last night I repeated my frequent mistake. I have been running (shut up! I'm serious here) and eating nothing but vegetables and lean protein and I feel like a million bucks, so much so that last night I did the dreaded pictures that you're supposed to do. The ones in almost nothing. From all sides. The ones that you then compare to the last ones as you go along and prove to yourself that you are getting more fit so that you don't quit and buy the mondo bag of M&Ms and eat it all while watching Dr. Oz tell you not to. I took them and I was very happy with myself and then I took a nap.

Not really a nap, really I finished a book that I was almost done with and couldn't put down. If my family knows I'm in there with the door locked reading, they will not let me be. If I claim that I'm sleeping, while they're banging on the door and desperately yanking on the door knob as if I'm their only source of oxygen and they must get to me or die, then I feel less guilt because I claim that I just didn't hear them.

My point is that Chris left while I was "napping" and when he came back he had bought ice cream and it was Moose Tracks and I hated him right then. But I ate the whole pint anyway. I ate it while glaring at him, so I ended up sick again. I just don't understand what's wrong in my head that I don't learn. Yes, I do. I love ice cream more than I hate pain. And I love Symphony Bars more than I love anything. I'm sorry, children of mine, but it's true. Don't ask me to choose.