Penis, Penis, Penis, Penis, Penis...

In 10th grade my locker was below two Senior football players, Jay Wilcox and James something. They were disgusting. Today they would be guilty of sexual harassment, you just can't get away with telling a girl what you want her to do while she's below you getting into her locker these days. That year was the last year I heard the word penis as much as I have the last week.

Superturd is three and it's occurred to him that his sisters do not possess the same outer plumbing that he does. We did the right thing and told him that theirs fell off. No, really we told him that boys have a penis and girls get nothing. Daddy has a penis, mommy doesn't have a penis. Mommys are girls and Daddys are boys. I realize that my son will not be the first boy to ever explain to total strangers that Daddy has a penis and Mommy doesn't, but I'm still terrified of that moment. What exactly is the right thing to say to the victim of the uncomfortable amount of information? That's right honey, thanks for sharing with the waitress. Or Yes, I just completed my final operation to become a women and he's very excited to tell people all about it. He finally has a Daddy AND a Mommy.

What's really surprising is that MoMo just figured it out, too. I didn't realize she hadn't ever noticed the differences. What's worse is that when we were in a public restroom yesterday, not for me of course (Berg Bowels) for her, I figured I would take a turn while we were in there and as I sat down she asked me if I have a penis, too. After glancing frantically at my "area" to see what might make her ask me that, while seeing me naked, I answered that, No I do not have a penis. I'm not sure what she saw, but I might have to have some alone time with a mirror. I could very well have a large saggy "area". I know all about these because my sister in law is a nurse and she has told us all about cleaning patients "areas" when they have large saggy "areas". I'm scared of what I might see, but I'm more scared of what I'm possibly not seeing. Don't worry, I'll let you all know what I find out.