Monday, October 5, 2009

This may seem like a re-post, but I swear it's not. It's brand new. Just now.

Grant let me know a little bit ago that he's sorry, Mom, but I missed the toilet. Nothing new to see here, folks. He's a man child. He misses the bowl.

I didn't even look up. Just said Ok, buddy, better luck next time.

He misses the bowl, but not by much, you know? You all have husbands and/or sons, you TOTALLY know what I'm talking about. Don't deny it. A little goes flying the wrong way before they get things under control. It's most likely somewhere ON the toilet. Usually the seat.

A few minutes later, Avery yelled PEEPEEPOOPOOH!!! Which you aunties know from overhearing it hundreds of times on the phone means that she's running for the toilet. Again, nothing new, go ahead, baby girl, I'm on my way in to supervise and wipe your bum when you're done. Feel free to get started without me.

Then there was a horrible head-hitting-hardwood sound and that moment of silence while they catch their breath in order to scream REALLY REALLY LOUD and you're convinced that there will be blood involved and probably an ambulance.

I did find her flat on her back. Poor baby. No blood. Just a sea of pee. The whole bathroom and some of the hall. I have NO idea how long he had been saving that one up, but it was remarkable. Her whole back was soaked. I could barely get her clothes off of her, they were so wet. The traumatic fall also caused her own bladder to release it's load, so there was that contributing factor to take into account, but it was mostly the boy's.

It leads me back to that ever present parenting question...How do you even get someone clean ENOUGH after something like that? Bleach bath? Scalding shower? Alcohol rub down?

I'm gonna go with old faithful. Ignore it. She'll get bathed EVENTUALLY, and chances are that she'll just do something equally gross between then and now anyway. Why rush these things?


jlcumber said...

I only laughed as hard as I did, because I knew she was ok. But man did I laugh. And laugh. Poor Avery. That is pretty gross and something you will have to remind her of when she is older. HA

Jan said...

I'm glad that all happened after our lunch!

SweetPea said...

Oh yeah... there will be worse things. Like the time I got up to go to the bathroom (in the middle of the night)and the cat had left a disemboweled mouse right in the line of fire. I wanted to cut my foot off but had to settle for scorching the skin off instead.