Friday, October 31, 2008

Walmart Bingo - Halloween Night Edition

Naked man with huge moobs covered only by a sheet running in the front doors yelling "Where's the beer?"

Walmart employee with a pacifier in her mouth. I think she was supposed to be a baby.

Many teenage girls wearing very little. Less than even usual.

An AC/DC Back in Black Tshirt that wrestled with me, trying to get into my cart. It was a close one. Chris was in the restroom (Berg Bowels, I told you!, I NEVER go to the bathroom at Walmart. I just use my pants.) and if it wasn't for the current state of my bank account, I would be it's proud owner right now.

I'll Be Playing This Game Tonight

Hey! I'll be able to check off THREE boxes just for myself! Lucky me.

Pie Charts

I just noticed that my post didn't really show anything. Somehow I thought that I was posting my pie chart. So, here it is, in all it's white/blue glory:
And here's Chris' "I'm my own biggest fan" (his own words) chart:

Great Forward

The most eye-opening civics lesson I ever had was while teaching third grade. The presidential election was heating up and some of the children showed an interest. I decided we would have an election for a class president. We would choose our nominees. They would make a campaign speech and the class would vote.

To simplify the process, candidates were nominated by other class members. We discussed what kinds of characteristics these students should have. We got many nominations and from those, Jamie and Olivia were picked to run for the top spot.

The class had done a great job in their selections. Both candidates were good kids. I thought Jamie might have an advantage because he got lots of parental support. I had never seen Olivia’s mother. The day arrived when they were to make their speeches. Jamie went first. He had specific ideas about how to make our class a better place. He ended by promising to do his very best. Every one applauded. He sat down and Olivia came to the podium. Her speech was concise. She said, “If you will vote for me, I will give you ice cream.” She sat down. The class went wild. “Yes! Yes! We want ice cream.”

She surely would say more. She did not have to. A discussion followed. How did she plan to pay for the ice cream? She wasn’t sure. Would her parents buy it or would the class pay for it. She didn’t know. The class really didn’t care. All they were thinking about was ice cream. Jamie was forgotten. Olivia won by a land slide.

Every time Barack Obama opens his mouth he offers ice cream, and fifty percent of America reacts like nine year olds. They want ice cream. The other fifty percent know they’re going to have to feed the cow

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Pumpkin Patch

Photo Commentary

Instead of posting some of the 542 pictures I've taken this week, I'd like to direct my limited energy and time toward making fun of this photo.

1. This is Richard's 2nd birthday. Richards birthday is in October. At the END of October. Jenny is in a swimsuit. The only question in my mind is this: Did Jenny put that swimsuit on that morning, or had she been wearing it since August? Or maybe June.

2. Look at Becky's expression. She's such a sweet warm fuzzy, isn't she?

3. Leanna. Wearing a dress. Looking fruity. And the birthday boy, just looks like a boy.Now I would like you to look at me. Sitting there nicely, smiling sweetly for the camera. Normal. Cleanish. I'm an angel. You're welcome, Mom.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Chris' Colies

That looks like Collies, doesn't it? I was trying to spell Cullys. Anway, here's his typical Yellow/blue stuff. He's totally bossy.

Charactered Traits
voice of reason

Healthy Traits
creative thinker

Unhealthy Traits
poor follow-through
an interrupter

Dysfunctional Traits
guilt prone
overly sensitive

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Free Color Code Test

Go to and enter the sharethelove in the promotional code thingy. Instead of paying $39.99 for a Comprehensive analysis of your personality, you will get the 20 page evaluation for free. I took it (again) and here's my results. I wonder what y'all are going to say about my "Dysfunctional Traits" list. Scroll down to the bottom and read those ones, they're the most fun. Now who's brave enough to take it and post their results? Come on, Suckers! I need someone to make fun of other than myself.Charactered Traits

Healthy Traits

clear perspective
voice of reason

Unhealthy Traits


Disfunctional Traits

guilt prone
worry prone
low self-esteem
poor follow-through

I Wish Chris would stop quoting this Over and over and over...

Monday, October 27, 2008

What do we have for Dick's Party?

What do we have for Dick's party? We have ice cream!

It wouldn't be baby brother's birthday without singing "Dick's Party" from the record he had as a child. I bet we haven't missed singing that song to you in 30 years, huh? Here's my photo tribute to Richard on his 30th. By the way, Jenny's post to you says "have a nice trip". If you are going somewhere and you haven't told me I hope it's far away, for your sake, because I am going to kick you in the t'aint so hard that you'll wish it was that tick you had, instead of my foot. You will look like this:Except WAY WORSE. I've gotten over you NEVER EVER calling or coming over, but if you're having a major life change and not keeping me in the loop you're dead to me.

Here's how I picture you in my head. Clearly not old enough to dial a phone, so I usually figure that's why you don't call. Adorable little orphan child, aren't you. Your face is almost as dirty as one of my children. Almost. I love that kid. Because he would call me if he could.

Here you are at Sears Portrait Studio in Washington Square Mall. This was right before Mom let me take you downstairs to the toystore and you ran into a metal shelf and your eye was gushing blood and we were all alone and I panicked and left you with the store employees while I ran and got Mom. She wasn't happy about me leaving you there. I was just so worried about my sweet sweet baby brother who still talked to me then, I think I remember you saying, "Thank you for taking such good care of my eye. I will always, always, call you, even when I'm really old, like 30." I believed you.
Here you are in our family photo. You were the only decent looking one in the whole thing.
No, really...Here, look at your sisters. AHHH, I just scared myself a little. That boy in the upper right is me. The boy on the left is Becky. that boy in the middle is Leanna. Jenny's the only girl looking one. Weird.
Ahhh, Roll on Crimson Tide!
Me and my brother (the one who loved me and loved to hang out with me and would have called me, except he didn't have to because we lived together) at Chuck E Cheese.
Look at you all dressed up and ready for church, with your older brother Amy behind you. Always behind you, supporting you, there for you, calling you.
This one reminds me of you saying "Jennifer Cotner's dad said I could have any car in their front yard for 200 bucks." That still makes me laugh. It was when I drove you around and bought you things at Nike with my employee discount and you cried at Hank's because the lady wouldn't let you cash your check from Mrs Dennis to get some candy and I'm pretty sure I ended up buying it for you and I'm pretty sure you said "Thanks, Sissy. I love you SO MUCH. I will always be your little buddy and call you any time I have big news." Yup, pretty sure that's what you said.
Look at that, my baby brother kissing me after I drove 5 hours to be at his graduation. Later that night it was one of our cousins that I was making out with, but let's not go there right now.You and me and Andy after I drove 6 hours to be at your graduation.You and Grandma and Andy after I drove 7 hours to be at your graduation.
You and mom and dad after I drove all day to be at your graduation.
Here you are putting in sod for me so that you could make money, even though I could have done it for myself for free. I'm always there for you. My gosh, I'm awesome. Happy Birthday, brother!


Let's try that again...

That Darn Constitution just gets in his Way

Sunday, October 26, 2008

We Got the Baptism Pictures Back

Our happy family...

With Elder Poll, Elder Morrill, and Elder Jones (Jonesie)...

The extended family (Back row:Jenny,Ashlynn,Josh,KaiKai,VeeVee, ME, Chris, Beck,Kiki, Mom, DuWayne, Grandma, Dad. Down front: GrantC, Morgie, Delaney, Chris, Austin, Elyssa, Bryce)With my commentary:

Friday, October 24, 2008

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

6th file 6th photo from the laptop


But this isn't...

Photo Tag

Becky tagged everyone on the internets to open their 6th file and post the 6th picture in it. My files are chronological and I can't believe my amazing luck. I swear, this really is 6th picture in my 6th file. I can't wait for the big girls to come home and ask to read my blog. They're gonna be so proud. That's not VeeVee, that's my boy crawling in the tutu. Those sisters are sooo funny.

Oh, and here's the 7th picture:

And the 8th picture:

And the 48th picture:

Ahahahaha! That was a good file. I should play this game more often