Friday, March 13, 2009

In Case You Haven't Read Enough About My Armpits

Me: The sun came out yesterday, which means that I instantly started sweating, even though it never got over 50 degrees. I swear the sun touches my skin and I smell.

Beck: What about your magic deodorant?!

Me: It's SO bad that after the rushing around, feeding the elderly couple, taking Mackenzie to her meeting, and baking, I smelled like dad after a long day of working in the yard...but worse. The minute I ran in the door I had to change and get everyone over to Doug's house for dinner, so I ran upstairs, yelled at Chris that I needed to wash the stink off me then he yelled at me to please be more specific, I yelled my armpits, then I yelled an apology to the children in our home who are not my own for having to hear that whole conversation. Once I got my stinky clothes off I realized that there was even more smell going on than I thought. I grabbed a scratchy wash cloth and soap and scrubbed most of my armpit skin off. I still smelled. I tried again. Nope, still smelled. I was getting a little panicked, so I dug around and saw the Rubbing Alcohol. I figure it kills bacteria...B.O. is from bacteria...why not? I poured it all over my underarms. I'm glad I hadn't just shaved. It totally worked.

Beck: You should have tried kills 99% of the germs that cause bad breath.

Me: Bad BREATH, not armpits.

Beck: Bacteria is bacteria, I'm just saying you should give it a shot.

That's what big sisters are for.


jlcumber said...

You are killing me! :) Botox! Go for the botox.