Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Dumbest argument ever. For real this time.

I'm hoping I can accurately convey this conversation without getting too explicit. We'll see.

I don't know how it started. We were on our way to the grocery store at about 10 tonight, so the tiredness was definitely a factor. In fact, just now I asked Chris and he doesn't remember how it started either. What we both remember is him stating At least I didn't ****** with my cousin. Then I strongly reminded him that I didn't EITHER...I just made out with my cousin. Really made out.

Then he called me a name.

Then I reminded him that I had never, in my entire life, met this guy before the night of the said making out. That we are far enough related that we could legally wed in ANY of the 50 states, not just some of them. AND that he's a super hottie hot pants. I'm not saying that I would make out with him again. I'm married, after all. But if I wasn't? I'd rather not answer that one.

So he says that none of these factors changed that I'm a whore for making out with my cousin, regardless of how distantly related we are. I pointed out that
a) everyone is related somehow and
b) I don't think that someone with the kind of past that someone has with the number of ladies that someone has had a past with should be criticizing someone else who does not have that kind of past with the men for kissing a boy who happens to share a family tree with someone.

Then he said that the issues were unrelated. That what I was saying was equal to me saying that he was not allowed to call anyone else fat, because he himself is also fat. Then I said that he couldn't call people fat if he was even fatter than them. Just like he couldn't call someone a whore for kissing someone when he was a for really real whore, based solely on the quantity and whorish occupations of exes.

Then the lady next to us in the produce section dropped her bag of apples because she was laughing so hard. He really liked that part. You know, someone laughing at him and all. He likes that.


Lars said...

That was worth waiting for! Thanks!

I'm so...I don't even know the your terms of endearment for each other. It's like Dr. Cox & his wife, what's her name?, on Scrubs. I think it makes you love each other more. Wow!

If he likes people laughing at him, then he should be feeling pretty good right now.

I'm really looking forward to our visit...but I think we may need to confine it to daylight hours.

jlcumber said...

Wow!!! This was awesome! I so wish I had of been there!!

Were you close to throwing your chicken sandwich at him?

Sam said...

You two are perfect for one another. It's reassuring that things have order in the world.