Thursday, February 28, 2008

Mommy, are you a pedophile?

Me: How was your day
Her: Fine except "Billy" told me I have a mustache and then told the whole class.
Me: What a punk. I can't believe he would do that.
Her: Yeah, he's mean
Me(thinking I would help her forgive him): You know, I asked him about you last night at Scouts and he said you're always a really good kid at school. Isn't that nice of him?
Her: I guess. Umm, do you know he thinks you're crushing on him.
Me: Excuse me? (clearly I had heard her wrong.)
Her: Yeah, he was telling me about this lady with curly hair at church that always smiles at him and talks to him. He said he thinks she's in love with him. Then you came to see me at school and when you walked in he whispered that you were the lady that has the hots for him and I said, Dude, my mom doesn't have the hots for you.
Me: Please tell me you're joking.
Her: Nope.
Me: I think I'm going to die.
See, I learned by my mid 20s (far later than I should have), that you shouldn't be too friendly to any man or they might misinterpret it. No matter how good of friends you think you are with them, it could go terribly wrong. I had way too many "but I thought you liked me" situations. Apparently you also have to be careful with young boys (11 years old). See, he's not always at church and as Primary President it's my job to make sure he feels welcome. I didn't mean to make him feel that welcome. Should I stop smiling at all of the children? Do I stop talking to anyone of the male gender? Should I avoid him in the future or should I grab his butt next time he walks by? I know I'm socially retarded, but I never imagined it was this bad. What if all the moms think I'm hitting on their little boys? It will most likely take a while for me to get over this one.

2 comments:

jlcumber said...

you are so socially retarded. You should come and work with my engineers. :)

Sam said...

My vote? Grab a big ol' hunk of his dungarees next time you see him. Church sometimes could use a little excitement. :)

S