Morgan just alerted me to the fact that her little sister seemed to have a problem! and noted that perhaps I should take a look at my youngest daughter. I turned around to find Avery, fresh from her bath, still stark nakey, standing sort of like a person who has just gotten off of a horse and who's legs haven't realized that they can go back to normal. All bow-legged and stuff. And she was slightly bent over trying to investigate something going on in her private region.
The whole family let out a collective EWWWW! Gross! and then told me to take care of it.
Turns out that little Miss-Fresh-From-the-Tub-and-Still-Wet had snagged a can of red glitter and rubbed it allllll over her body. All over. So gross.
Baby wipes only made matters worse so I've now got her back in the tub hoping that the glitter will dislodge itself and that she didn't enjoy the sensation of her naked body covered in glitter, because, c'mon, that would not bode well for her future now would it?
Friday, February 26, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Dude, We're Getting So Old
That's all I can think of when I look at the pictures from our 10 year anniversary trip. I don't FEEL that old, so why do I look like I'm almost FORTY??? I would have liked to have spent our 10 year anniversary getting botox, but since it is OUR anniversary and not MY anniversary, we decided to do something that we'd both love and remember forever. So we did.
Have I mentioned that our marriage lasting this long is something of a miracle to us? It's true. Here are just a few of the many reasons:
1) Statistics alone are against us. Coming into this, each having our own child, each not out of the previous relationship all that long, the odds weren't good.
2) The Family And Friends Betting Pool on how long we would last, whether we'd even make it to the wedding date, and if so, how long after, was not a good sign.
3) The reason for #2 being formed, which was my tendancy to get engaged and then call it off.
4) His sleeziness.
5) My judginess.
6) The many near divorces that we went through in the first year. Or two. Maybe three.
That's enough about the reasons we shouldn't have made it, but you can see that we take a bit of pride and amusement in the fact that we HAVE made it this far and we just keep getting happier.
It makes me wonder, does starting off un-happy make your happy potential actually higher? Did we do the right thing by setting our expectations so low? By getting married because neither of us could afford our rent alone, were we on the right track?
I don't think it's a recipe for happiness. I think we just make each other laugh and find each other very attractive, but I don't think it hurt that we have a mutual determination to show everyone how wrong they were about us not lasting. We like to win. We're winners. And our prize is being happier than either one of us could ever imagine. Chris said it best last night, "Amy, you're like the most amazing package of smokin hot AND a best friend who gets all of my jokes and movie lines." The fact that we both feel that way about each other makes it a pretty great life.
Have I mentioned that our marriage lasting this long is something of a miracle to us? It's true. Here are just a few of the many reasons:
1) Statistics alone are against us. Coming into this, each having our own child, each not out of the previous relationship all that long, the odds weren't good.
2) The Family And Friends Betting Pool on how long we would last, whether we'd even make it to the wedding date, and if so, how long after, was not a good sign.
3) The reason for #2 being formed, which was my tendancy to get engaged and then call it off.
4) His sleeziness.
5) My judginess.
6) The many near divorces that we went through in the first year. Or two. Maybe three.
That's enough about the reasons we shouldn't have made it, but you can see that we take a bit of pride and amusement in the fact that we HAVE made it this far and we just keep getting happier.
It makes me wonder, does starting off un-happy make your happy potential actually higher? Did we do the right thing by setting our expectations so low? By getting married because neither of us could afford our rent alone, were we on the right track?
I don't think it's a recipe for happiness. I think we just make each other laugh and find each other very attractive, but I don't think it hurt that we have a mutual determination to show everyone how wrong they were about us not lasting. We like to win. We're winners. And our prize is being happier than either one of us could ever imagine. Chris said it best last night, "Amy, you're like the most amazing package of smokin hot AND a best friend who gets all of my jokes and movie lines." The fact that we both feel that way about each other makes it a pretty great life.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
For the Love of a Good Fight
I'm not sure exactly what makes me like watching Vee pick a fight. I kind of wonder if it's my awareness that this is the twilight years of my toddler parenthood. Next month GrantC will be 5 and in the fall Vee and I will be all alone together. Just me for her to argue with and growl at. I feel that sadness, that empty-nestishness, that moms feel when they're babies are growing up too fast.
Baby Plankton is the best. I realize in some small part of my shrinking brain that I shouldn't find pleasure in her naughtiness. I know that it's only going to ruin her and teach her that naughtiness is funny, but she's just so blasted cute to me. I almost wish I could love her just a little bit less. Or love her enough to be harder on her and punish her more often.
I think my weakness for her is heightened by these last 2 being so close together. Having the first three spread out so far gave me plenty of time to appreciate the stages that each one was going through. Now, it feels like an avalanche, like it's all cascading so fast that I can't even catch my breath. That, and the fact that if I didn't find pleasure in VeeVee's nasty side, then it would be kinda hard to like her at all.
That's not true. She has a delightful side too, but that need to make Grant scream is just so dominant.
It's the look on her face when she's deliberately irritating him that I can't resist. I KNOW, it's got to be the 2nd child in me. I know exactly how she's feeling. I know that utter pleasure that comes from having full control over your older siblings emotions, that "Tell me it makes you angry"ness that us younger sisters like to wield over those bossy older's heads. We get it from years of having to wait, having to be told what to do, having them rub their olderness in our faces.
That, and she's the baaaaaby and is going to be spoiled rotten and I may just pay for it years down the road. I love that little Plankton baby.
Thank you for the therapy session tonight. I'm sure Becky is so happy to hear that I only refused to turn off the bedroom light or hold my farts in because of my own inner frustration. That, and a really bad stubborn evil streak.
Baby Plankton is the best. I realize in some small part of my shrinking brain that I shouldn't find pleasure in her naughtiness. I know that it's only going to ruin her and teach her that naughtiness is funny, but she's just so blasted cute to me. I almost wish I could love her just a little bit less. Or love her enough to be harder on her and punish her more often.
I think my weakness for her is heightened by these last 2 being so close together. Having the first three spread out so far gave me plenty of time to appreciate the stages that each one was going through. Now, it feels like an avalanche, like it's all cascading so fast that I can't even catch my breath. That, and the fact that if I didn't find pleasure in VeeVee's nasty side, then it would be kinda hard to like her at all.
That's not true. She has a delightful side too, but that need to make Grant scream is just so dominant.
It's the look on her face when she's deliberately irritating him that I can't resist. I KNOW, it's got to be the 2nd child in me. I know exactly how she's feeling. I know that utter pleasure that comes from having full control over your older siblings emotions, that "Tell me it makes you angry"ness that us younger sisters like to wield over those bossy older's heads. We get it from years of having to wait, having to be told what to do, having them rub their olderness in our faces.
That, and she's the baaaaaby and is going to be spoiled rotten and I may just pay for it years down the road. I love that little Plankton baby.
Thank you for the therapy session tonight. I'm sure Becky is so happy to hear that I only refused to turn off the bedroom light or hold my farts in because of my own inner frustration. That, and a really bad stubborn evil streak.
General Conference Weekend
Originally written 10/5/09
Our traditional buffet for General Conference weekend:
Our traditional buffet for General Conference weekend:
It helps to keep the kids quiet, focused, and excited. This year, Grant cried "I WANT GENERAL CONFERENCE" because I was taking too long cooking. It was a beautiful moment for me. Even more beautiful was having all 3 littles sit through both of Sunday's 2 hour sessions without complaint or problem. They were great. I hope this tradition continues to make Conference weekend fun.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
A Letter to My Sweet Sweet Niece
Dear Curly-Girlie,
Next time that your mommy threatens you that you Better not poop your pants at Aunt Amy's house or we're GOING STRAIGHT HOME, please PLEASE do not listen to her. You just go ahead and crap those suckers. Fill 'em good. You know why? Because then your mommy is the only one who has to clean up your poop.
You know what, if you need to, you just go ahead and poop outside. That always worked for me as a kid, and I do know that you're comfortable with that method, so, please, feel free.
Seriously, though, little lighter on the toilet paper kiddo. I do love exploring my masculine side and snaking the toilet repeatedly didn't work, so I got to yank the toilet out and go in through the bottom. Amazingly it really was just crazy amount of toilet paper, not a toy or a toothbrush or anything exciting. I was kind of disappointed about that. I was hoping for something fun.
And, Princess Girl, I do know that my toilet clogs easily and you were a good girl to make it to the toilet, I'm just having fun for the blog! Now to go have a nice bleach bath and try to get the poop off me. I'm so glad we have that sanitize cycle on the washer because nothing that you had put in there had gone down. At all. So, I'm pretty sure the sanitize cycle was necessary.
Monday, February 1, 2010
MoMo makes another entry in the Berg Dictionary
Mo gets tummy aches quite often. I'm trying to pay attention to what she eats in an attempt to make a connection to some food group, but so far it's still a mystery.
Tonight it was aching badly enough that she was hunched over, wandering around in pain, moaning and generally being miserable, so I offered her some stomach medicine. She accepted the offer and I sent Chris to give her some Pepto.
Turns out she's not a fan of the Pepto. She's never had it and she's pretty sure we were trying to kill her. We weren't. She cried and cried on my lap and I really did worry that she would puke. Kinda like 7-Up makes me throw up instead of the opposite. She didn't puke, but she did coin my new favorite phrase: MOM, that was SO gross! That was so gross that it even made we wish that I didn't even HAVE any Taste Buddies.
Taste Buddies... Taste Buddies... I love it so much that I haven't stopped saying it. I have a feeling that this will go down in Berg-o-pedia history right next to Put Another Dime in the Juice Box, Baby and Cheesy Warm-Warms and Crown instead of Crayon.
It also reminds me of Grant sobbing because he didn't want to be "drownded" when we told him he was grounded. And of Grant refusing to use the word "people", insisting instead on calling them "humans". Have I mentioned that one? It's really freaky when little dude is all LOOK, Mom, there's a human in my fire truck. It's just plain weird.
Tonight it was aching badly enough that she was hunched over, wandering around in pain, moaning and generally being miserable, so I offered her some stomach medicine. She accepted the offer and I sent Chris to give her some Pepto.
Turns out she's not a fan of the Pepto. She's never had it and she's pretty sure we were trying to kill her. We weren't. She cried and cried on my lap and I really did worry that she would puke. Kinda like 7-Up makes me throw up instead of the opposite. She didn't puke, but she did coin my new favorite phrase: MOM, that was SO gross! That was so gross that it even made we wish that I didn't even HAVE any Taste Buddies.
Taste Buddies... Taste Buddies... I love it so much that I haven't stopped saying it. I have a feeling that this will go down in Berg-o-pedia history right next to Put Another Dime in the Juice Box, Baby and Cheesy Warm-Warms and Crown instead of Crayon.
It also reminds me of Grant sobbing because he didn't want to be "drownded" when we told him he was grounded. And of Grant refusing to use the word "people", insisting instead on calling them "humans". Have I mentioned that one? It's really freaky when little dude is all LOOK, Mom, there's a human in my fire truck. It's just plain weird.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
We Shall Name Her Amy
Chris: Hey, babe, are you gonna get in the bath?
...an hour later... Amy? Were you taking a bath tonight?
... a half hour later... I thought you wanted to take a bath?
Kenzie: WHAT is UP with you wanting mom to take a bath so bad? What is your DEAL???
Chris: Well, Mackenzie...your mother is a beautiful women and there's something that you need to understand...
Kenzie: Ew! You're DISGUSTING!
Chris: No, no, no...hear me out. Your mother is a beautiful woman. A beautiful woman, who at this moment, looks like she's recently been birthed. Not like she's recently given birth. But like she's recently been squeezed through the birthing canal and is still covered with that greazzzzy coating of stuff. Even her hair resembles a freshly birthed infant, not yet cleaned up.
He was so right. I laughed until I cried..really cried...at how amazingly spot-on his comparison was.
In my defense, I am SO stressed out about making this cake right now. I have nothing else, even my own hygiene, anywhere near my radar. Cake is my life. Cake is my universe.
Come to think of it, it's kinda funny that the cake is for a baby SHOWER. Hahaha! I make me laugh. My kids make me laugh more though. Grant keeps asking when I'm gonna be done with the cake for Jenny's baby washing. Took me a while to figure out that he meant Baby Shower. I love how their little brains work!
...an hour later... Amy? Were you taking a bath tonight?
... a half hour later... I thought you wanted to take a bath?
Kenzie: WHAT is UP with you wanting mom to take a bath so bad? What is your DEAL???
Chris: Well, Mackenzie...your mother is a beautiful women and there's something that you need to understand...
Kenzie: Ew! You're DISGUSTING!
Chris: No, no, no...hear me out. Your mother is a beautiful woman. A beautiful woman, who at this moment, looks like she's recently been birthed. Not like she's recently given birth. But like she's recently been squeezed through the birthing canal and is still covered with that greazzzzy coating of stuff. Even her hair resembles a freshly birthed infant, not yet cleaned up.
He was so right. I laughed until I cried..really cried...at how amazingly spot-on his comparison was.
In my defense, I am SO stressed out about making this cake right now. I have nothing else, even my own hygiene, anywhere near my radar. Cake is my life. Cake is my universe.
Come to think of it, it's kinda funny that the cake is for a baby SHOWER. Hahaha! I make me laugh. My kids make me laugh more though. Grant keeps asking when I'm gonna be done with the cake for Jenny's baby washing. Took me a while to figure out that he meant Baby Shower. I love how their little brains work!
Monday, January 25, 2010
Let's talk more about ME
Many years ago, the Prophet sat aside Monday nights as Family Home Evening. The one night each week that we've been asked to set aside to spend with our families. We generally have an opening song, prayer, lesson, game, prayer again, and desert. Sometimes, if time is short or we're just plain unprepared, we'll just gather around the table, eat some ice cream, and talk about a scripture or experiences that help us learn more about Heavenly Father.
I love Family Home Evening. I love that it's something we've been instructed to do. Otherwise, it would SO not get done. As it is, we have FHE almost every week. We don't answer the phone, nobody has other engagements, no play-dates, just us.
Tonight, Chris read us the parables of the Ten Virgins and of the Talents. The kids paid attention, they added input. It was great. Then he went around the room and had each child share one of their talents and how they can share that talent with others. Here's what they shared...
Kenzie is an actress (said dramatically while throwing her arms in the air) and she is able to get to know how different people view life and appreciates her own life more because of the characters she portrays. She also gets to touch people's lives.
Kaila is a singer. Songs can be a form of worship and sharing a Gospel message with others and just generally touching people's hearts.
Morgan had good manners. Through using her good manners she has made more friends and people like her.
Grant is a builder. He said that maybe someday he could build a house for a man who doesn't have anywhere to live. Why does he have to make mommy cry?
Avery is a dancer. Then she danced and shook her little bum off while we all laughed and we realized that her talent makes us all happy. It's really quite awesome to watch, too.
When it was my turn I took a second to think and before I could answer my kids had thrown in GREAT thoughts about what my talents are. I had no idea that they thought that I'm a great baker, or a great writer, or anything else. That was the best part of the lesson for me. Very sweet.
Chris said that through his sense of humor he has been able to make people comfortable and make friends. He has been able to share the gospel and be a good example of our beliefs.
I love Family Home Evening. I love that it's something we've been instructed to do. Otherwise, it would SO not get done. As it is, we have FHE almost every week. We don't answer the phone, nobody has other engagements, no play-dates, just us.
Tonight, Chris read us the parables of the Ten Virgins and of the Talents. The kids paid attention, they added input. It was great. Then he went around the room and had each child share one of their talents and how they can share that talent with others. Here's what they shared...
Kenzie is an actress (said dramatically while throwing her arms in the air) and she is able to get to know how different people view life and appreciates her own life more because of the characters she portrays. She also gets to touch people's lives.
Kaila is a singer. Songs can be a form of worship and sharing a Gospel message with others and just generally touching people's hearts.
Morgan had good manners. Through using her good manners she has made more friends and people like her.
Grant is a builder. He said that maybe someday he could build a house for a man who doesn't have anywhere to live. Why does he have to make mommy cry?
Avery is a dancer. Then she danced and shook her little bum off while we all laughed and we realized that her talent makes us all happy. It's really quite awesome to watch, too.
When it was my turn I took a second to think and before I could answer my kids had thrown in GREAT thoughts about what my talents are. I had no idea that they thought that I'm a great baker, or a great writer, or anything else. That was the best part of the lesson for me. Very sweet.
Chris said that through his sense of humor he has been able to make people comfortable and make friends. He has been able to share the gospel and be a good example of our beliefs.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Morgan's 4th 7th Birthday Party
For her fourth and final 7 year old birthday party we headed out to my parent's house for her choice of birthday dinner. She, as you'll see all over Avery's face, choose spaghetti. And I choose to make a very simple cake with store bought frosting and sprinkles. It was a lovely, low stress, experience.
We started our day off at the zoo. There was no school because it was MLK day. We took AshAsh with us.
You might think that Avery is shirtless because we had spaghetti. You would be wrong. You is shirtless because she dressed herself and I didn't realize that all day long there was shirt under her jacket. I guess I'm just glad that it wasn't a hot day at the zoo, or we'd be Girls Gone Wild all over again.
You might think that Avery is shirtless because we had spaghetti. You would be wrong. You is shirtless because she dressed herself and I didn't realize that all day long there was shirt under her jacket. I guess I'm just glad that it wasn't a hot day at the zoo, or we'd be Girls Gone Wild all over again. Morgie's Birthday or Adventures in Fondant part 2
Morgan's birthday came along and I realized that we had no plans and no school, so I got Leanna to bring her kids up for the day. We baked them cupcakes and let them decorate them.
There must be something on the TV...
KaiKai and my 5th daughter/neighbor had a cupcake eating contest. It was hard to watch.
The Komps couldn't make it over for the day, so they came later and celebrated with us and my second attempt at a cake.
The Komps couldn't make it over for the day, so they came later and celebrated with us and my second attempt at a cake.
It was better than the Cowmel, but still baby stepping
Here's Morgan with her cake, talking to Grandma McCumber on the phone... 
Ashlynn and Avery waiting for cake after they put on some dress ups and "did their hair". I think it was water. I hope it was water.
Morgan blowing out the only candle I could round up. Sorry, little nugget, at least you got candles on the cake we had at Grandma's house!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
The Tradition Continues
This year we chose to buy all the cousins matching jammies again, like last year. We've always done matching, but for ALL of them to match is only a 2 year tradition. I like it and I like the ones we chose this year. Thanks to Leanna for getting them in all of the children's sizes in one trip, that was awesome.
The only kid who wasn't pleased was Grant. He screamed PAJAMAS AREN'T A PRESENT and threw his across the room. Luckily, Aunt Leanna saved the day by teaching the kids to lift their tops and scream SPRING BREAK!!! This broke him out of his funk and we were able to get pictures. Yet another glimpse into the genius of Leanna.
The only kid who wasn't pleased was Grant. He screamed PAJAMAS AREN'T A PRESENT and threw his across the room. Luckily, Aunt Leanna saved the day by teaching the kids to lift their tops and scream SPRING BREAK!!! This broke him out of his funk and we were able to get pictures. Yet another glimpse into the genius of Leanna.
Church Christmas Party
Grant was the cutest shepherd EVER
Avery was a terrorist, running amock and crying alot.
Morgan was the most beautiful angel EVER
And KaiKai sang a beautiful duet about our Savior's birth. Kenzie accompanied the duet on the piano.
Chris's Contribution
After Kenzie got done with her attempt at being relieved of every taking photos again, Chris took a turn. Here is his big contribution to the only photographic record of Christmas Eve 2009...
He lovingly showed Jenny the shot and said "Look. You're showing." I'm sure she appreciated that.
You know what I do NOT appreciate? The size of that belly. Too small. Way too small.
Chris and I talked about it later, and agreed that Jenny looks amazing. Her face is only swollen enough to give her perfect lips and the rest of her is still not big at all. I hate her for that. If I had time I would put this next to one of my horrible pregnancy pictures, but I don't. Maybe tomorrow.
Their Favorite Present
This was all the kids really wanted. I'll remember that when I contemplate staying awake all night for Black Friday next year.
Christmas "Eve"
We headed out to my parent's house for our Christmas Eve with the family. I put Kenzie in charge of the camera and here is what I saw when I checked her progress...
She was sent to the car to bring in some forgotten items. She documented every step.
She was sent to the car to bring in some forgotten items. She documented every step.
Her struggle with the door lock.
Her success with the door lock.
Her success with the door lock.
Her retrieval of the forgotten items.
I have no idea.
The forgotten onion and raisins.
Shutting the door.
Her and KaiKai
Her and KaiKai
KaiKaia loooovvveesss presents?
Kenzie loves presents
VeeVee and Kenzie
Kenzie and Mommy
Kenzie and her aunt Jenny
Mom's favorite socialization method
Cheeseburgers
And, finally, Kenzie and grandma together.
Civil War
We always love the Oregon v Oregon State (Go Beavers!) football game, but this year was extra exciting because the winner would go to the Rose Bowl! We talked Towers into watching with us, a mistake he'll never make again because of all the screaming. It was a good time. Too bad the Ducks won, but at least it was a fun game.
Adventures in Fondant
I have this friend who makes cakes. She has a website Prettycoolcakes.com. Her cakes are way more than "pretty cool". They're amazing. For real. Click the link. Click it! See, amazing.
This gal asked if I'd like a lesson in how to make the amazing Christmas cookies that she had shown me. She even offered to come do it at my house. I was so very excited. Excited and nervous, since I didn't believe that I'd be able to make anything presentable.
She proved me wrong. After many hours, with her three little children trying to stay patient, of painstakingly putting up with my lack of attention to detail, I had all the skills to make cookies so cute that it made me want to cry.
As I finished my little Mr and Mrs Clause, I lovingly stroked their round cheeks and told them that I loved them more than any of my children and that the fact that they tasted delicious made them even better still.
Here are our creations...
**Sigh**....my babies....
Kenzie decided she wanted to take some to school so I whipped up a bunch more. Here are some of those...
With my new found knowledge of all things fondant I decided to go ahead and make VeeVee's birthday cake. Here's how that conversation went...
Avery, how old are you?
Gooood.
You're 2, honey, you're two years old. How old will you be on your birthday?
Chocolate chip.
Ugh. What do you want your birthday cake to look like?
A GIRAFFE!!!
Giraffe? Okay. No problem. Here's what I found on the internets and I used as my pattern. Easy schmeezy.
And, here is what I ended up with...
Striking resemblance, no?
Nobody was quite sure what to say.
Or what it was.
It ended up with the nickname Cowmel (is it a cow? is it a camel? no, it's a cowmel). The saddest part is that you can't even see the bad parts in these pictures. I purposely angled the cowmel to capture his BEST side. It's true. Stop laughing at my cake. I love him. Okay, I don't really, but I do feel like he was a learning experience and he tasted really good.
Next time I'll stick with cookies.
This gal asked if I'd like a lesson in how to make the amazing Christmas cookies that she had shown me. She even offered to come do it at my house. I was so very excited. Excited and nervous, since I didn't believe that I'd be able to make anything presentable.
She proved me wrong. After many hours, with her three little children trying to stay patient, of painstakingly putting up with my lack of attention to detail, I had all the skills to make cookies so cute that it made me want to cry.
As I finished my little Mr and Mrs Clause, I lovingly stroked their round cheeks and told them that I loved them more than any of my children and that the fact that they tasted delicious made them even better still.
Here are our creations...
**Sigh**....my babies....
Kenzie decided she wanted to take some to school so I whipped up a bunch more. Here are some of those...With my new found knowledge of all things fondant I decided to go ahead and make VeeVee's birthday cake. Here's how that conversation went...Avery, how old are you?
Gooood.
You're 2, honey, you're two years old. How old will you be on your birthday?
Chocolate chip.
Ugh. What do you want your birthday cake to look like?
A GIRAFFE!!!
Giraffe? Okay. No problem. Here's what I found on the internets and I used as my pattern. Easy schmeezy.
And, here is what I ended up with...
Striking resemblance, no?Nobody was quite sure what to say.
Or what it was.
It ended up with the nickname Cowmel (is it a cow? is it a camel? no, it's a cowmel). The saddest part is that you can't even see the bad parts in these pictures. I purposely angled the cowmel to capture his BEST side. It's true. Stop laughing at my cake. I love him. Okay, I don't really, but I do feel like he was a learning experience and he tasted really good.
Next time I'll stick with cookies.
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