Death by Humiliation

Oh, the joy of public speaking. It warms my face (to a nice shade of red) and brings out the best side of me. That would be the shaking, stuttering, duh-what was I about to say, side of me. Why, oh, why would anyone ask me to speak at church? It's not just painful for me, I know it must be painful for those watching. I know how they feel. Watching that person on the stand who is clearly not meant to ever, ever utter a sound into a microphone. It's so awkward for all involved. The only thing that makes it worse is when I foolishly attempt to look up (ever so briefly) at my audience. Inevitably I make eye contact with someone. I know better than to do this. Immediately I loose my train of thought, as well as my spot on the page, and start stammering like Porky Pig. No one likes that. I just feel that reading straight from the page without ever looking up is so 3rd grade. So, there are my choices: I'm a third grader or I'm Porky Pig. Not good options. Also, true to form, I chose to share personal stories from my life. Not "listen to these great, uplifting experiences" type stories. The usual "I'm such a loser, listen to what stupid thing I did stories". I only hope that it's another 15 years before I have to do that again. I have a feeling that after today's performance I might get my wish.