Cowardly Husband

Today is the first day of Summer Vacation for our school district. We started vacation perfectly by sleeping in until 8:22. Then I put on "Schools Out for Summer" (that's by Alice Cooper, music ignoramus) and cranked it up to excite the kids. Wait a minute, maybe that's where I went so very, very wrong. It was one of those extremely frequent mornings when Superturd and VeeVee both neeeed Mommmy and are inconsolable unless I'm carrying them and each demands that I carry only them and not the other one. It's fun. My first suspicion that Chris was not planning on working from home today was when I found him showered, shaved, and dressed at 9am. That's weird. As I walked him to the door, make that, tried to catch up with him as he ran to the door, the kids were all crying and/or demanding something at once. They paused just long enough to tell him goodbye and then started in again. He told them Goodbye, goodluck, I'll miss you, you were wonderful children and I'll never forget you. Real nice, dad. I'm not going to KILL them. Maybe a maiming or two, but I'm not CRAZY. I haven't heard from him since. You all know he's scared when he hasn't called me twice by noon. Wuss.

I took them to the Library and we only had blood curdling screaming once, as we left or attempted to leave, and Superturd wasn't feeling that. He loved it there, which is nice. I checked out kid's books on tape for my new ride with no CD or DVD player. I tried them on the way home, but the two youngest trying to out scream each other drowned it out. They have this game called "You're crying is bothering me, so I'm going to scream until you stop, and the louder you cry the more I'll scream" I love it. Especially now that I'm driving a car where they're sitting RIGHT BEHIND ME. At least in the van I can put them in the way way back and still drive safely without my eyes all scrunched closed and my hands both removed from the steering wheel pressed firmly against my ears in an attempt to retain some sanity and hearing. I'm not sure why I do that, since going deaf would be preferable to experiencing that game even one time. Ever.