Thursday, May 29, 2008

I'm about to blow up like a balloon, not a regular balloon, or even a hot air balloon, more like a blimp

Over the next few months my body will morph into a size and shape closely resembling a whale or baby elephant. Maybe even a preteen elephant, I'm not up on my exact elephant sizing, but it's going to be something big. Just in time for summer. Awesome.





This time the problem is not with the diet, it's with the new access I will have to these two evil establishments.





They are both currently being built in my WALMART PARKING LOT. I obviously must go to Walmart and I can't be trusted to pass a Del Taco without getting chili cheese fries. And an orange shake. Maybe a whole meal deal. Probably a whole meal deal. But with diet Coke because I don't want all those extra calories. I know nothing about Sonic, but I'm willing to learn.





When you see me and gasp at my morbid, grotesque, Jerry Springer special, Oprah please help me, sized body, please just be happy knowing that I'm happy. Don't hug me, though, you might get some chili on your shirt.

4 comments:

Jan said...

Sonic 1/2 priced cherry lime-aids from 2 to 4 daily. MMMMM - the best.

GG Hilda said...

and Mrs D too.

YES, THE BEST.

Gina Lee said...

I love Sonic- My favorite is the chicken sandwich, tator tots and a peach sprite. They have a HUGE variety of drinks and shakes. You will LOVE it!
Oh, I also remember eating a sausage pancake on a stick from there... Pretty darn good as well! I think I'm hungry!!!!!

Thayer & Associates said...

We have a Sonic in Salem but no DelTaco. :'(