Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Top Ten Tuesday - Whiner Edition

I have no ideas for Top Ten this week. If you would like to join me in reasons you depend on your husband, I am about to list the reasons he shouldn't ever leave town (or our home) again.

1. When our baby acted like she was done being sick on Sunday she was faking. She just filled her freshly washed car seat with something the consistency and color of oatmeal. It has some strawberries in it and we haven't even had strawberries since Sunday, so she's just been saving up for me.

2. Your son spent the night running to the bathroom and producing his own creations that in no way resembled oatmeal. It was more of a chocolate milk or maybe a malt. Not so much milkshake consistency, darker brown and thinner.

3. I don't know how to be pushy. I'm trying to run your business while you're gone and I'm excited to do that, but you're much better at making people get you the things you need when you need them. I'm more of a "oh, you can't do that for me? ok, sorry to have bothered you" type person. You're more of a "Oh, yes, you will do as you're told, and you'll do it now and be happy about it. Thank you for your time." type person.

4. I was unable to watch any TV last night (which was actually kind of nice) because I can't be downstairs after the kids go to bed or I get totally freaked out being all alone. I'm pretty sure someone is hiding in the house and I have to check all the doors at windows 5 times and close my eyes while I'm doing it or I'm sure I'll see someone looking back at me. If we had a TV upstairs it would help. Yes, I know that the no TV in the bedroom rule is mine, but I think it could be changed when you're gone. It would also help if we had window coverings.

5. I'm going to have to wake up pretty darn early if I want to shower this week at all.

6. You took your toothbrush. What am I supposed to use?

7. Since you're not here drinking liquid darkness I might have to break down and pour myself my own. Not that I need it. I just want a few sips here and there. Don't judge me. You know how hard it is for me to admit weakness and acknowledge my problems. I'm just glad it's Diet Cherry Pepsi and not Diet DP or you'd come home to a house full of empties and a very jittery wife.

8. What if something breaks? (that one is a joke, a very sarcasm laced joke)

9. How am I going to get my fill of ESPN and the basketball playoffs and Mariner baseball and sports talk radio? Again with the sarcasm. you'd think it was hereditary or something. There I go again, I can't stop, or I maybe I just don't want to.

10. I have nobody to be all Rootbeer with.

Friday can't come fast enough. I do feel that peace that I didn't anticipate feeling, a sort of calm, I can handle this type feeling. I hope that is a feeling our loved ones who are separated or single right now have, it's much better than the overwhelmed I can't handle this anymore feeling which I expect to have by tonight.

4 comments:

Lars said...

Separation is the opportunity to really be clear on how much you love & totally miss the one you love...and that's a good thing!

jlcumber said...

I offered my house dork! But now that you have a house full of pukers...I am a little thankful you didn't take me up on that one.
Chris...come home! She needs a freaking toothbrush for goodness sake!

Sam said...

This is too funny. I have a minor suggestion. Try to get a shower and borrow one of the toothbrushes from the yard before Friday, or he just might not come BACK next time. Just sayin.

Amy said...

Hahahah, I'm not kidding when I say that the one is still right in the yard where it was! Do you think boiling it would do the trick? I already showered once this week, I'm good.