The Office

I survived my first visit to the new office. I even spoke to people I don't know, without even asking them to wear masks of my close family or friends. I'm so glad I have the super magic deodorant to help me through these difficult times of social navigation without embarrassing pit stains. While I might stutter and turn red, I do not sweat, so I've got that going for me.

I did not take Heidi's excellent advice and go with the sporty/scary spice combo. While it could have been very very hot, I opted to go with the slutty mom look. You know, as slutty as I can go with my extra stomach roll and very coversome underwears. The extra stomach (kiki calls it my sausage loaf) was bugging me enough that I put a sweater thingy over my tight shirt that buttoned up far enough to cover the roll. It's the same mom hoody that I wore with the hood up to cover up my bad dye job. A look which led to my family calling me Emo Mom.

I did not witness any hotties, though past experience has revealed that I don't always know who the hotties are in his book. I'm often surprised and not infrequently horrified by what counts as attractive by his standards. A lot of people that work there are in the 40ish area. I should point out here that Chris addressed me as "my wife who's quickly approaching middle age" yesterday. Yes, my head did whip around so fast that my neck still hurts. He got that surprise look that he does and said something about the countdown to 40 being pretty short. Why does he do these things to himself? I reminded him that if my grandma is almost 100, then middle age for me is approximately 50. Then he redeemed himself and said that in that case I'm barely a teen, but not in a gross child molester way, in a still young and hot way.

I'm feeling better now about my chances of holding onto my hot hot, perfect body, practically a model, husband. As long as none of the ladies at the new office are funny. I'll have to check into that next time. He loves the funny ones.