Crazy Little Thing Called...Codependency

For the first time in several years, Chris may have an offer worth considering going to work for someone other than himself. This could mean not working from his office/bedroom upstairs. It could mean actually leaving my side for several hours a day. Several days a week, probably all in a row.

I'm pretty sure I'm not having a for real heart attack. Probably just a panic attack. We're what you might call dysfunctional. We both load all five kids in the van to take one of them to school. All of us, together, every day. Not for any reason, just because we are used to being together every minute of everyday.

If he were to get a normal type job...well I don't really want to think about it. Who would go grocery shopping with me? I can't bag them and watch Superturd at the same time. Who would come downstairs and watch them so I can take my occasional shower and reapply my magic deodorant? Sure, I like to bring the raunch, but I can only take it so far. Would I be expected to keep the children happy AND make dinner? What about nooners, how do you have a nooner with a real live job? I wouldn't be able to have the cable guy come, or who knows what might happen. I have needs. Who would make me lunch?

Would this necessitate things like "meetings" and "alarm clocks"? He doesn't do alarm clocks. When we met he didn't even have his plugged in. Start time is optional in his world. He's not into "bosses" and "answering to someone else". Would we need to have a realistic bedtime? What about all the TV we need to watch at night? How would that fit in?

What if I need to run an errand or go to book club or check the post office box? With three kids in car seats? Are you kidding me? I might even have to talk to OTHER PEOPLE. I don't need mail or books THAT bad.

They need to change the laws about leaving kids in the car. We always waited in the car for my mom. She did the whole big grocery shopping trip and never carted us in with her. We loved it. We played 'kidnapper' and hid under the seats from strangers. Come on, I would LOCK the car. Maybe even turn on the alarm. They'd be WAY safer than we were. Besides, we have so many kids, who's going to try to take all of them?

AND my husband has this need for what he refers to as "an audience". Currently I am that audience. I don't like someone else being the audience. I KNOW ITS CRAZY. He's what we call a "yellow"(color code personality book. LOVE IT.) We don't call him yellow to his face or he punches us in the face (color code personality book. HE DOESN'T LOVE IT.) As a yellow, he needs someone to listen to him all the time, and laugh at the appropriate times and show outrage at the appropriate times. If he goes to an outside job he'll get a new audience. I don't like that. He needs to take me with him, to be his audience. I don't foresee him wanting to do that. Then again, he didn't think he'd like working from home and now we love with our codependency, so maybe he'll see the benefit of putting the three little kids in daycare and having me follow him around an office all day. I think this could work.