Mo: Mom, are there really bad guys?
Me: (after carefully weighing the options, knowing that I don't want her to think that everyone is good and have her get kidnapped because of it) Sure, honey, there are some bad guys.
Mo: (already crying about there being bad guys. It took 1.5 seconds.) THERE ARE? WHY? WHY DID JESUS MAKE BAD GUYS? WHAT IF THEY KILL US?
Me: Listen, the bad guys are all in jail. Uncle Dewey catches them and puts them in jail so that we won't get hurt.
Mo: Are they ALL in jail.
Me: Weeeelllll, not ALL of them, but the other ones are far away. In the city. Just don't talk to people you don't unless one of us is with you. I have no idea what to say to you right now. I'm a failure as your mother and somehow I've made you terrified and paranoid, please, please, tell me how to fix it so that you will stop crying and I will stop saying the wrong things that makes you cry more. Daddy drinks because you cry.
Just kidding, daddy doesn't drink, but he did ask me to get that knife the other day, remember that? See, daddy is the bad guy here, not mommy.
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4 comments:
Two words...group therapy.
Let's just go ahead and go with "Uncle Dewey locked them ALL up." We'll deal with the kidnapping bridge when we come to it.
That's too funny. She and Tristan must be kindred spirits. He is the one we watch out for. Yikers. I shouldn't have been given those tender-type children, I need a bam bam type kid...those I can handle. ;)
So funny!!!! Poor Mo Mo!!! Send her to me.
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