Dear Dude on the Cover of My Body for Life Book

Please stop looking at me that way.

I know that frying up a package of chicken drumsticks is not in our diet. I know that. I also know that they were the cheapest meat at Winco and my son will not vomit them back onto his plate...possibly. These two factors overrode my desire to not negate my run this morning.

My priorities have to change for awhile. It's not you, it's me. I still love you, I'm just not IN love with you. I need to look for someone who offers a cheaper weight loss option. I'm considering the completely free method of dieting, it's called just not eating, or eating and then throwing it up into a bag and keeping it all in the closet like that one girl on Intervention.

Please Mr. Bookcover man, don't confuse this with the other times I left you, those times when Chris left the house and then hours later came home to find me with a 2 lb bag of M&M's tied to my face like what farmers do to mules, although I think they use oats.

This is different. Not like the time I got mad at you because you wouldn't let me go to Big Chiney for a 'snack' and I told you that I didn't need you and that I had found a new diet, A BLACK ONE. That was just to hurt you. I know that your insecure about the manliness of your diet and a new big black diet would make you crazy with the thoughts running through your head of me and my new diet together in the kitchen, in our room, in our car, at every fast food drive thru in town. How many times do I have to say I am sorry about that?

Hopefully the finances will turn around soon and I won't have to choose between you and money any longer. Until then, I'm going to have to move you to the cabinet. You can no longer sit beside my stove and make me feel guilty. I won't live like this.